


I do, I don't

by diazckerman



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Beach Weddings, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Good Parent Grisha Yeager, Isabel Magnolia and Eren Yeager are Related, Mikasa and Eren are detectives, Modern Era, Multi, My poor approach to being comedic, Weddings, Zeke has a pet monkey, happy fic bc canon hurts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-16 21:35:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 27,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28588893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diazckerman/pseuds/diazckerman
Summary: Eren is desperate to show up to his brother's wedding with a 'girlfriend', hopefully warding off dates his mom tries to set him up with. It seems like showing up with your 'partner-in-crime' is a great idea - not until everything bites you in the ass.
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Annie Leonhart, Carla Yeager/Grisha Yeager, Eren Yeager & Zeke, Gabi Braun/Falco Grice, Mikasa Ackerman/Eren Yeager, Pieck/Zeke (Shingeki no Kyojin), Reiner Braun/Bertolt Hoover
Comments: 42
Kudos: 113





	1. Desperate Times, Desperate Measures

**Author's Note:**

> \- Profanity and possible mature scenes in the future.  
> \- Most characters have personalities that contradict their canon counterparts  
> \- This story is just for shits and giggles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _He blinks for awhile and comes up with the dumbest solution ever to exist in mankind._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! This is set during the modern universe and our beloved dorks are detectives. I got inspo from Brooklyn 9. I'm a sucker for fake couple troupes and I'll never be sorry for it. Anyways, I hope you enjoy!

There was never a day that the 104th precinct of Trost was tranquil. Every single nook and cranny of the bricked building always had murmurs (or rambunctious quarrelling) from either policemen, perps, and civilians alike. There would be also be clicking keyboards, telephones ringing, shuffling piles of stacked papers, keys, creaking of doors, and of course, on the second floor, Blause fucks up the kitchen's microwave _again_. Then Springer, for the second time this week, slaps the nape of her neck with a rolled document and scolds her. The brunette sheepishly cleans up her mess with the last ply of tissue on its roll. Mikasa hated the stench of the lasagna because her hunger made her nauseous. After apathetically glancing at the mess that unfolded, the detective takes a sip of her now cold Americano, then resumes on typing her report.

Adjacent to her desk, Eren periodically peeks and then hides behind his monitor, watching her like a predator calculating the moves of its prey. He was reluctant whether or not he should talk to her at the moment. Knowing that if she had her resting-bitch-face on as she's working, 'funny business' was never invited. Ackerman was no vulnerable deer, and once he tried to hunt her, he found himself kissing her desk while she dug her boots on his cheek; he pretty much became her prized taxidermy and his dart came back to him tenth fold. Ironically, the scary ravenette happened to be one of his best friends in the precinct. Since their captain entrusts them with the most arduous missions, it forced them to be closer to each other. Eren thought of setting aside his thought until the end of their shift. However, he was itching around and even if he tried to concentrate on his screen, he can't stop glancing at her - thanks to the conversation he had with his mother last night that irked him to his core. 

\---

_"...Have you eaten well?""_

_"Yeah, Mama! Gotta keep eating **veggies** to keep me **energized** at work." He groggily cheers while lying through his gritted teeth, then chows on another scoop of salt and vinegar chips. _

_"That's great! I was worried about your appetite. Anyway, I hope you're coming to Zekey's wedding."_

_"Of course, Ma. I'm his best man! I'm gonna come home in two weeks. I also have to keep Zee-Zee in check in case he runs away with the ring." He reaches for his beer and chugs it, while eyes fixed on the baseball game of the Trost Titans against the Warriors. His mother giggles on the other end and he softly smiled. As much as he gets a little annoyed when she throws never-ending questions of his wellbeing, he appreciates it. He softly smiles at her contagious laugh._

_"You coming alone? Well, it would be nice seeing you bring someone. C'mon baby, use the face your mama and papa gave ya."_

_**And oh how he tries not to sigh**._

_"If not, I know a sweet girl from work! She's a year older than you but I think you'll like her. Her name's Hitch-"_

_He rushes to grab the chip bag and crumples it on the phone's mic. "H-hello Ma?"_

_"E..r What... pening.." She sounded like a ghost behind a spirit box._

_"Mama, you're choppy, I'll call you back. Love you." He quickly presses the red end button of his cellphone and tosses it on the coffee table. He hunches over and rests his elbows on his knees, and lets out the biggest sigh ever, releasing everything he held back during the call. He stares blankly at the table and there was a pitcher tossing the ball on his peripheral vision._

_Ever since he broke up with his ex-girlfriend, Historia, his family - especially Mama and Aunt Faye, kept throwing bachelorettes at him. It ends up turning into innumerous failed attempts of ring toss and none of them could even shoot a single loop in. He understands that they wanted to help him out after locking himself shut. But he was only 19 when everything unfolded. He's literally 27, dedicated to his duty as a detective, and nonchalant about dates - but even after eight years, it seems like the message isn't clear enough to them at all._ _His lock screen lights up - a selfie of him and his brother's cheeky capuchin monkey, Zee-Zee, wrapping his arms around his neck, and then there was a message notification from **Mama**. _

_'Let me know if you're interested in me bringing her in. She's wonderful, beautiful and smart. Text me back baby, take care! I love you!' And she follows it up with a pink heart emoji and another one blowing a kiss._

_Eren throws himself backwards on his leather Barcalounger while running his fingers from his cheek to his hair, tugging its brown strands. Even if he declines, she'd bring her in anyway. His mother always had a way with her things and he realized that at age 3, where a house slipper made him comply to wear an ugly turtleneck sweater, even if he was choked up with tears. Eren found himself stunned at a dead end without a solution. Until his phone lights up again, another notification. But this time, it was **Ackerman**. _

' _hey were_ _interrogating tmrw. bring the files in and captain america needs us by 6. no fuckin way im picking u up."_

_He blinks for awhile and comes up with the dumbest solution to ever exist in mankind._

\--

He heavily sighs then reaches for his pen, then begins clicking. It was his and Mikasa's way of getting each other's attention, a secret language they accidentally created in one of their stakeouts. He glances at her and his screen, while his thumb continuously smashes on the mechanics of the pen. It took awhile to the point that he even had time to take a sip of his Capri Sun. 

"I'm ignoring you. I'm too tired. Hungry. Leave me alone, Yeager." She utters monotonously while her blank face never peeled off from the screen as she continues to hack the keyboard.

"Not even a five minute break? I'll promise I'll treat you after work to whatever you'd like to go. You know, dumplings, maybe some perogies, anything from _Pixiiis_ '." He says cheekily as he leans a bit towards her even if their desks and monitors barricaded them from each other.

"The last time we went there, your card declined and _I_ had to pay nearly $60 out of my pocket so that we didn't have to the wash dishes on their filthy sink." She says flatly without a beat.

Eren hesitantly drags himself to the free chair beside her - the seat reserved for civilian reports. But for him, he was entering the den of a lioness. He boldly places an arm on the corner of her desk, wiggling both of his eyebrows together. The ravenette only turns to him with a blank expression, but at least her eyes were blinking this time. But she didn't have the energy to gnaw at him - her dark circles, disheveled low bun and dried coffee on the corner of her lip says it all.

Eren sings, "Look Miks. You're my best friend and I'm your best friend-"

" **What the fuck do you want**."

" _Dude_. I kinda......fucked up."

Her face lightens up in horror and her mouth gapes open like a fish. "YEAGER DON'T FUCKING TELL ME YOU MESSED UP ON THE FUCKING RE-" She yells atop of her lungs, and a few heads from different desks whip around. "Calm down! SHHHH!" Eren waves his hands around their audience, signaling 'heyy guyss things are fine, please resume'. Mikasa shoots him with the same glare his father made when he came home with an F. 

He whispers, "It's not the work we did, I got it all covered. Reports are annoying but I'm not stupid enough to mess it up. All I need is a bit polishing, then print, then me, you, Cap 'Murica Smith sign it. Then, voila, Daddy Yeager tucks his little Report to sleep in a file blanket. Then I give it a good ol' kissy kiss." She sighs in such relief, eyes closed while grasping at the arm rests of her office chair and draws her head upwards. "I still don't know how I lost our bet with one perp away when you do shit like this, Yeager." He chuckles, then pauses when she darts a death glare. He raises both of his hands in resignation. "Okay, tiger! Pipe down a bit! I don't want someone to write an obituary of a detective being the one murdered by his own partner. That's really embarrassing."

"Cut to the chase, you likely have two minutes out of your promised five to say your crap."

Floch on the other side of the bullpen raises his thumb to ask if everything's alright, and both detectives nod in feigned glee. Eren turns back to Mikasa, "I'm _fucked_ because..." He sighs and clears his throat. "MomtriedtosetmeupwithagirlatherworkandifIsaynoshe'llbringinherinanywayandmyfamilyhassomesortofhistorywithtryingtofindmeagirlandIhateitandmybrother'sweddingisintwoweeks-"

She places a finger on his lip. "I _don't_ need an _aneurysm_ right now. Again. This time slower."

He prepares himself for the predicament. "Sooooooo, remember my brother Ezekiel? 

"Uhuh."

"He's getting married..." Eren rocks back and forth, while Mikasa's head circles around with her mouth open in anticipation. "Uhuh.. Congrats?"

Eren winces, "I",

his mouth feels hella dry, "kinda need someone to umm come with me .... to like... pretend to be..."

Gosh his cheeks and ears were burning, "my.... girl... friend?" _Aaand_ his voice raised 3 decibels higher. 

Mikasa furrows her brows, wondering what it has to do with her. Then it slightly dawns on her, "Okay... And?" She looks around, a bit uncomfortable and prays her intuition is wrong.

" **I want you to.. uhm... do that-this things... like you...me...'ya know? So you down being my decoy girlfriend?"** He utters as if out of breath.

_A hanging and terribly awkward silence ensues them like two cowboys on a verge of a shoot out._

A rolling tumbleweed would really dramatize everything, but they only god Sergeant Moblit's paperclip flinging from his desk. They could hear it hit the tile even though three perps were wailing and whining in their cell. Mikasa clears her throat to break their silence and brings her shoulders on a loop to ease its tension. " Please tell me this is one of your dumb jokes _._ "

He awkwardly shakes his head. She rubs her palms against her eyes. " _Goddess Maria, Sina Rose._...Why can't you just... show up alone? You're not gonna die if you do."

"Look, I got myself in to this mess and I can't get out."

"Holy shit, how deep is your head stuck in your ass if you fucked up this bad?"

"I think you didn't catch on what I said but my family's really crazy - especially _Mom_ , about me getting a girlfriend and they keep throwing weird chicks at me. I hate it. I appreciate their concern but the chicks are not my type and I'm terrible at-

"Dude, first of all, you're not the sharpest tool in the shed."

"I know, but listen...Like... I know I'm no prize but..." He looks around and shuffles in the seat before he leans closer. Instinctively, she also leans in. "There was this one chick who asked me what sign I was, I said I'm an Aries, because apparently March 30th is Aries and I rolled along with it - I don't know shit about astrology. Well...she just... started crying her eyes out? She then had an entire Shakespearean soliloquy about tragedy and I couldn't stand it. So, I got up, bowed at her like I finished a piano recital or something - then _left_ her wailing in front of oysters and cheap wine without saying goodbye. Everyone in the restaurant thought it was a proposal **gone** **wrong**. Dude I didn't even know her _name_."

Mikasa sucks her teeth in second hand embarrassment and holds her breath. "oh god.. _. you suck_."

"Another case was this one hot girl and she's hella smart - well, she's in her last years of med residency. I would've enjoyed our company if she didn't start licking my hands in front of the waiter-" Her eyebrows raised, grinning, " _ **No**_ , Mikasa, I wasn't turned on. Especially when she said something about skin and bones - then I called it a night."

She lets out a belly laugh in disbelief, but knowing Yeager for three years, he was definitely the type to get himself caught in such predicaments. 

"See! I really don't want to put up with it in front of my family... and who knows, Mitch Hitch _Bitch_ \- whatever - is maybe nice. But for the love of Goddess Sina, I'm playing Russian Roulette and I can't bear the thought that she might be crazier. Or maybe not like I said, but I feel like my odds are stacked against me either way and I'm too scared to risk anything."

"And ... so your ingenious resort, an amulet to this so-called curse, was to ask your _coworker_ to link arms with you!?"

"Look, Miks, I..." He fishes for a convincing answer and he can't find one - instead, he pulls a lie from the Mariana Trenches onto his flimsy boat. "Well... I kinda... told her I was coming... with... _you_...? So that... she wouldn't call the girl in, you know. I told her we've been together." He sheepishly winces, and Mikasa draws her palm to her eyes once again and sighs.

"Four words, Detective Eren Kruger Yeager - _You. Are. An. Idiot._ "

"I know, I know, I know! I'm sorry I dragged you in!" God he was going to have his face smacked again. "Think of it as a vacation - you know! Aren't you tired? Looking for a time of leisure - away from the hectic schedules and weighing expectations from your boss? Don't you think you deserve a break? A time, a time, a time where you can unwind -"

"You're making it sound we're going on a getaway to Bahamas - and I assume that's not what I'm gonna be getting." She sighs, "Look Yeager, I'd rather - in fact, gladly have my ass tasered, shot, stabbed, amputated, fed to the dogs on the same hour than do this. You're getting too comfortable relying on me sometimes. Yeager, this is literally way beyond our professional relationship and understand that YOU buried your own self into your fucking grave - and in no way shape or form I'm picking up a shovel. I'm not linking arms with you."

"Understandable, sorry." Eren sighs and slowly gets up to resume to his seat.

But a miracle appears and he could hear the trumpets from heaven - he remembers a loophole. 

_She swore something to him last week._

_**BINGO**_.

He plops himself back to the seat. 

"That's funny because last week _you_ told me _you'll gladly_ return _any_ favor after _I_ saved your ass from having your head literally _nearly_ blown off by Willy Tybur, Detective Mikasa Azumabito Ackerman. So tell me, are you actually willing to have your ass tasered, shot, stabbed, amputated, fed to the dogs on the same hour than do this?" He raises both of his eyebrows and tilts his head. "There was no such thing as limits on the favours I, _Eren Kruger Yeager_ , will request my fellow friend, Mikasa Azumabito Ackerman - according to **our** agreement. The word 'anything' without its 'but' calls for a door of infinite options. Also, if it weren't for me, your tiny little cabeza would've been served on a nice silver plate the Tyburs will feast on." He leans in while crosses his arms on her desk. "So, I rest my case, your honour!" He smirks. 

Mikasa reaches for her cold cup, grunting while drinking in such vexation. She scowls at Eren who wiggled in his seat while chanting 'I gotchur ass, I gotchur ass..." to spite her. He was _painfully_ right. She'd never make it out of the operation alive if Eren didn't have the guts to tackle the drug lord. Hell, her parents would be scarred for life with their only daughter being gone. She hates this dumb plan, but he was painfully right that she did owe him a favor - a big one, and she can't think of ways to rebuttal. Yeager was as cunningly clever as he was idiotic - and she should've seen it coming that he was excellent at finding cracks. He was also too great at fishing - an asset he had that left perps spilling their guts out. She places the cup between her and her fellow detective, as if it were her white flag. 

"You got me there." She closes her eyes. "I should've asked you to sign an Agree on Conditions and Terms sheet, but then again, I didn't know this is the shit that you'd throw at me. But, I owe you one anyways - _don't even think of hugging me_ , I'm mad at you."

Eren felt like a kid in Disneyland, giddily squirming in his seat. "You're an angel, Miks! Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"I'm gonna be Satan himself if you're gonna pull shit like this ever again." She rubs her temples and Eren still has his stupid victorious grin. "We'll drop by Captain Smith's office at the end of the day to ask if we can have people fill us in."

"Cool beans! Thank you babe" He beams.

"Ten **fucking** seconds before I will be the one to blow your head off."

"Awhhh is my _baby_ mad at me?"

" _ **Ten**_ ,"

"I know you _loooooove_ me-"

" _ **NINE**_ ,"

Eren sprints to his seat without a beat.

\----

The Trost skies had already faded into dark but he finds it endearing. It was beautiful especially when the lights enveloped the streets, sparking vivacious night life in the city. Eren bops his head to the radio that plays 'Under Pressure by Queen and Bowie', while his hands gripped the wheel. There was some sort of serenity he feels after a tiring day and his job was no monkey business - and all he could ever think of at the moment was collapsing on to his bed while his pug climbs beside him. He mutters along the song while wiggling in his seat,

_It's the terror of knowing what the world is about_  
_Watching some good friends screaming_  
_'Let me out'_

Earlier, he and Mikasa were fortunately granted their 'vacation' by their austere Captain. It came to them as a surprise since he was usually tight on such things but Smith remembers their successful drug bust, and his best detectives do deserve a treat. Eren finds it funny that he and Mikasa were playing footsies and pingponging at each other his office, like children asking their parents if they could sleepover, just for them to simply get an 'Okay, cool'. Eren admits that throughout the operation, he was scared and nearly crapping his pants, especially when his best friend was at the mercy of a bullet - but it was all worth it, and they sure have a story to carry on for the rest of their life. 

_'Pray tomorrow gets me higher, higher,'_ Eren prepares himself for the high note, hoping his voice wouldn't crack this time, 'HHAAAAAAAAAIIIiiiiiiiiiii-" Then the monitor from his dashboard pops an incoming call from Mama, stopping his music all together, "C'mon!!! Can't you at least let me finish the best part?" He presses the green button, sighing. "Heyyy Ma."

"Hi honey!" She beamed with her usual cheery tone. "How's it going?"

"Just ended my shift today, going home." He hums.

"Ah, I'm glad you're safe! Anyway, I didn't ask Hitch today because you didn't really give a go-"

"Ma, don't tell her to come." He flatly says. 

"Honey that's a bit rude."

"Well I think it's rude if I bring her instead of...my girlfriend." Eren feels his cheeks and ears heat up. 

"Eren your...WHAT"

"Okay so you see, when a man loves a woman-"

Then there it was, Carla Yeager throwing who, what, where, when, how questions at him but he was in a trance and every question was blurred. 

"Why didn't you tell me? I looked like an idiot going around giving your damn business card-"

"You made me a business card!?" Why was he even surprised.

"Bring her to the wedding, we'll love to meet her. Does Zeke know? And you still didn't tell me her name."

"I will, and Zeke doesn't know yet, no one in the family knows, none of my friends know. We're trying to stay low because it'll be awkward at work-"

"YOU WORK TOGETHER!?" Carla gasps, "OH MY GOD, IS IT THAT ACKERMAN GIRL? EREN, THAT'S AMAZING! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU FINALLY GOT YOUR HEAD TOGETHER AND ACTUALLY COURTED HER! I'VE ALWAYS LOVED HER!"

His eyes widened, taken aback and confused. "You've WHAT-"

"Oh my godd!! I'm calling Zeke!"

"Ma, I-"

"Honey gotta go, the oven's ready, bye!"

"Ma what-"

 ** _'Call ended'_** The voice from the display announces and Eren's music resumes again. This time, he didn't feel like singing along and his shoulders began tensing up. This was gonna be one hell of a long, long ride. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I've been dying to write something for such a long time and I was always hesitant. I made a vow this 2021 to finally rip the band aid and do it. I originally wanted to publish something before this but I became too critical with myself and didn't enjoy it. Also, eng is not my first language so I'm terribly sorry for the errors.  
> I decided that this was gonna be some sort of warm up and I'm also a big sucker of Eren and Mikasa being dorks while everyone lives happily. And yes, Zeke has a pet monkey, inspired by Friends' Ross - and it was just fitting.  
> Feedback would be deeply appreciated, and I hope you enjoy this chapter! I'll do my very best to update soon.


	2. Pre-Façade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> " So Miks, whatever happens... You're-"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I think i forgot to address in the past chapter that in this verse, Eren and Mikasa are a lot older - around 27-28 years old. Meanwhile Zeke in this verse is about 7 years older, and Pieck being the same age. 
> 
> Annd I'm gonna ramble more in the end notes but heads up this chapter wont really be the start of the events just yet - I know I'm sorry but I wanted to express their dynamic in a way or something. Okay I'll leave the rest to the end notes.

_Two weeks later_

The previous night, Mikasa crashed his apartment to help orchestrate their pseudo love story; they would switch between dragging strings on the corkboard, as the other would jot notes down. At the leisure of sweats and chowing down on Chinese take-outs, they'd look through photos, exchanged family drama, and even watched a couple of cheesy rom-coms to _really_ set the mood. Literally anything they can think of just in case they were at the mercy of interrogations (but sometimes they'd get distracted by his barking dog or laughing too hard at awful dad jokes - ' _do you know the Spanish guy who lost his car? His name was Carlos'_ ). Eren thinks that this new so-called undercover mission was going to be much more difficult than anything he has ever done in his career; coming as yourself in front of your own family with an embarrassing lie itself is _ridiculous,_ not to mention, you have to play pretend with your coworker as a _loving_ couple, and you guys aren't even paid to do this shit _._ He and Mikasa were gonna walk on thin ice, but hell, if they played their cards right they should be able to skate easily. 

Now, they were only 24 hours shy away from the flight but instead of packing their suitcases, they were bundled up in bullet proof vests and stealthily observing people flocking in out of the local delicatessen. Stakeouts made ten minutes feel like ten hours, they were observing like hungry hawks waiting for the next prey, and as their colleague, Connie, claims it to be - ' _its weird because it's technically legal stalking_ '. To pass time, the two detectives decided to quiz each other with the script while keeping an eye out for the man fitting the frame of the cartographic sketch. They were waiting for the door in such anticipation - but to no avail every time. 

"Okay Miks, I'll throw another one again." Frustrated, Eren sighs while crossing his arms, then glances at his partner, "The fiancéeeeee?"

"Pieck Finger? He met in some college party or anything of that matter - well, you said its a detail that wont hurt us if we overlooked it." She remains focused and he hums while nodding. 

"Hey, I still can't get over the fact that you said they look like John Lennon and Yoko Ono."

"No seriously, they do though!" She beams and he rolls his eyes chuckling. Suddenly, the door opens again and both of them rapidly lean forward like two cats attracted to a moving dot of laser. _False alarm_. A blonde woman and a young child walk out and they simultaneously kiss their teeth and groaned. Totally, not the bald, round, male, and 6"1 perp they were looking for. 

"This is _killing_ me, Ackerman. Should we just go in instead? You know like just-"

As if on cue, Mikasa's walkie-talkie speaks up. "Sir?... I don't think Yeager and I need back up if it's only one man... We'll stay at our post until he gets out?... Copy." She then shuts off the box and glances at her partner. "You heard the boss."

"Well we're gonna have to wait for that bastard, I guess." He groans, then a silence hangs between them for awhile before he clears up his throat and speaks up again. "Anyway, you also remembered the ' **date** ' we agreed on? You know, the date we uhm... _allegedly_ started 'hitting it off'-"

" **TCPD! FREEZE!"**

As soon as Mikasa yells atop of her lungs, the man spots them and pauses for awhile before sprinting along the commercial strips. Like two fired bullets, the duo instinctively splits up quickly. Eren ensues him while trying to dodge the havoc he trailed behind: a grocery cart tumbling, three schoolgirls pushed towards him, a garbage can flinging, flyers ejected like confetti, and three vegetables that launched his way that he was able to duck away from.

" _ **SERIOUSLY, MAN!? SERIOUSLY!"**_

Alongside the frustrated detective, the scowls and yelping of some civilians followed the criminal. Meanwhile Mikasa was already grinning behind a hotdog cart, anticipating the approaching the Tom-and-Jerry chase gearing towards her direction. When the perp finally reaches the a specific tile on the sidewalk that indicated her timing, she whips her baton and without giving him a second to be startled, he smacks his face flat against the concrete. Eren pants as he places his hands on his knees, relieved to watch Mikasa cuff the now apprehended perp.

 **"You're under arrest.** " Then she turns to Eren and sings in a mocking seductive tone, "Oh, before I forget - February 14th. Because it's **very** _romantic_. You know, candle lit dinner with some _violinssss,_ and definitely a bit of ' _booty smooching '_ afterwards." She winks at her partner who chuckles and rolls his eyes between his heavy breaths. The perp still tries to wiggle away from her web while barking insults and flailing his body. Leaning in with a _doting_ glare, she scoffs in her usual dominant tone,

**"For touching kids, you have the nerve, _sir_."**

\---------------------

The next day rolled around faster than he thought. Usually when he travelled, he'd leave his apartment no longer than an hour before the flight. But no, Mikasa insisted that they show up at least five hours prior, and as much as he tries to protest, she was numbering countless what if's - like traffic, unexpected emergencies, or potential troubles in the airport. He had nothing to use to rebuttal against her list since the only thing he could ever think of was 'sleeping in' and 'getting bored'. He waits outside her apartment, watching her frantically run down the stairs and tugging on the suitcase like a mad dog dreading a walk - it seemed like a wheel was stuck in between the railing and she didn't really catch on. He chuckles until she darts a death glare, which prompted him to run to her aid.

"Heeey Ackerman, buenossss diasssssss~"

"Shove your _buenos dias_ up your ass!" 

She barks and Eren throws his hands in feigned submission, "Woah, woah, woah, it seems like someone didn't have their coffee yet."

"Just, help, me, _out_ , UGH!" She grunts as she tugs the suitcase harder. "This shit wasn't heavy at all why the hell-"

"I got it, I got it, I got it, you know it's-" As he was about to lean in to help, a sudden pop erupted and the suitcase launches itself violently, throwing Mikasa onto the steps. The duo's mouths both gaped open at the sight of the wheel flinging away and vigorously spinning like a Beyblade before ultimately laying completely still at the foot of the stairs. "-stuck... between the... railing..."

Mikasa blinks, glancing at the aftermath that unfolded. There was now clearly a gap at the bottom, and the popped wheel laid against the hardwood floor like it was K.O.'d mercilessly. She softly utters a soft 'fuck', rubbing her temples until they turned red.

 _What a way to start the journey_.

"Hey, hey, hey, it's all gonna be okay." He sheepishly fans her as she squints her eyes in frustration. "Well... shit happens sometimes. Let's start off with getting up, shall we?" Eren gently pulls her wrists to prop her up, suppressing a laughter - he wasn't trying to get his ass kicked at 9 am. 

"I'm so fucking stupid, _god_." She slightly chuckles to her chagrin, pulling herself up awkwardly. 

He takes a look at the remaining wheels, "Fortunately you still got three and they'll likely be okay. If anything, I can handle it and you can carry mines - and are you okay?"

"Yeah" She says flatly. 

Eren hums as he was glaring, "I don't think so, you nervous about this thing?"

"Tch, not even the slightest... But I think I'm just a little tired from last night."

"You didn't let that case to rest, did 'ya?" 

"You... know me too well..." She looks away and he shakes his head again. 

"Oh god. You know I got Floch to kiss my ass, he got it all covered for us in the meantime - why didn't you just rest?"

"I don't know, it's just my mind was just wrapped up with the Tyburs again... I hate to admit that I'm still a little shaken with the incident. We got the most of 'em but Lara's free... and I kind of feel guilty for taking a break."

Eren sighs, "You need to take it easy sometimes - we'll get her ass one day. And if anything I reeled you into my own crap so you didn't really take the _vacation_ on your own accord - and I'm not in the office, too. You work too hard, Miks."

"Hm, yeah..." She pauses, "But it's not really a vacation; we pretty much gotta constantly worry about being disgusting towards each other for five days, then watch your brother and his girl make out in front of people."

"Fair point." He chuckles picking up the suitcase. "Anywho, you can take a breather when we get the airport. You definitely need coffee and sleep."

"They contradict each other but sounds good.." A soft smile was plastered on her lips, "...should we go now?"

"Sure- and hey! Whoever hops in the taxi last pays the fare-"

Without a beat, Mikasa was already jumping onto the base of the stairs and dashes to the main door. Eren tries to catch up, barking at how unfair it is that she had a head start and he had her suitcase - and worse, he slips on the wheel causing him to smack his face against the ground. She momentarily turns around to bask in the glory of his defeat, laughing before fully heading out as her duffle bag bobbed against her back. Even if he looked stupid in the CCTV cameras and his elbows were definitely swollen, he couldn't help but laugh too. At least he cheered her up from her worries in some way, both with his predicament and letting her win the prize of maintaining a heavier wallet.

\----- 

Who would've thought that two hours in the skies would be worse than eternal damnation? Out of all the seats in the plane, he and Mikasa were unfortunately sandwiched between two _interesting_ people. Beside Eren was a woman worse than a feral chihuahua, who'd bark at him over the littlest things such as a slight nudge or how he 'should stop staring at her'. He couldn't do anything but utter shy apologies - putting out fire against fire wasn't a good thing. She would then constantly page the flight attendants over the littlest inconveniences and requested to move seats about three times, still having the audacity to bark louder when she was told that the seats were all full. Even if he wanted to take a break dealing with _Karen's_ shit, turning the other cheek just meant witnessing another disaster. The man beside Mikasa was a bit docile in comparison to _Karen_ , but he would hog the spaces of everything around his circumference: reclining the seat too low, swatting hallway passersby with his arm, and sometimes, he'd lean towards Mikasa, _purposely_. To make matters much more _wonderful,_ he removed his shoes and socks, _oh god_ , to say the least, the smell made the duo lose their appetite. They tried to stay closer to each other to avoid the unpleasantries, sheepishly smiling at flight attendants and other passengers who'd give them looks of empathy.

Mikasa utters under the blanket that covered her cheeks, "Are we there yet?"

"The plane hasn't landed but unless you got a parachute on you. We're gonna hit the ocean though." His eyes remained glued on his phone as he was searching for a better song. She groans, resuming on her book but not even a minute later, she nudges him again.

"Hm?"

"I got a question."

"Oh, what is it?" He peels his earphone away from his ears.

"Why me?"

"Youuuu?"

"Well, don't you have close friends who could pull this off better than I can? And there's other girls in the precinct too - I mean I know I owe you a favour and all but..."

"No, I understand. Well..." _Your name popped up on my screen when I panicked._ "...I mean my girl friends are either taken or gay - I don't have a lot too. We got our Sasha but weddings equals food, and she-"

 _"Hell's Kitchen?"_ She scrunches her nose.

"Exactly! And then we also got Mina but... I think she's still wrapped up with her break up and we're awkward with each other too."

"Oh yeah... poor thing was wailing in the breakroom the other day and I had to tell her to shut up. I couldn't concentrate on the files without wanting to stab her."

"Oh _wow_ ," Eren chuckles. "Anyway, back to the thing. You're just an excellent candidate because you know, we're on sync nearly all the time, Miks and it's a bit scary sometimes- oh! Remember the Ragako bust?"

"Which one? We've had about three to four over the years."

"The recent one! Where we pulled an impromptu couple on the verge of a divorce on the spot and-"

"I slapped you too hard - sorry I got carried away." She winces

"Nah, don't be I thought it was great! I mean the guy did buy our crap and well... projected his daddy issues..."

"Yeahhh..." She bites her lip, recalling the second hand embarrassment. 

"But we caught his ass and saved the team's heads, so it was a win-win. But, I gotta admit you were too harsh - did you really have to go too far with cursing me that I was never going to ever have cold pillows when I sleep!?"

"Jheez, I didn't know pillows were that important to you-"

"Miss Ackerman, never underestimate the power of a cold pillow! Seriously! For someone who barely sleeps with one, you shouldn't talk!"

 _God, Yeager was proficient in being dramatic._ "Hey dummy, it helps with my posture."

"Sleep on the floor then!" 

"We live in Trost, dipshit."

"Oh, fair point." He winces. Although she was meticulous when it came to cleanliness, the city did have problems of residual visits of pests. He retracts, "Anyway, that was pretty much one of my go signals to choose you. And as expected, you picked up on a lot of the _juices_ quickly."

"Hmm... I guess I'm just **that** good." She smugly grins at him and he rolls his eyes. When it seemed like she got the answer she was satisfied with, Mikasa resumes on her book but this time, she nestles her head comfortably on his shoulder. Eren slightly jolts in surprise, and she quickly peels herself away from him. "Oh... sorry, does that make you uncomfortable? I'll-"

"N-No, it's okay. I was..." _Why was there a lump in his throat?_ He shrugs it off anyways, "I thought you'd kill me."

"I wish I could." She swats his arm and he feigns a groan. Mikasa giggles as she rests her head against his arm once again, resuming on her book. 

Eren suddenly doesn't know why he finds himself in a trance. From his view, he could only see the top of her head and her pointy nose peaking out. He tried to reason that he was interested in the page she was peering, but the scent of her signature coconut shampoo was so pungent that not only masked the waft of feet, but made his head spin like he was... _Don't start._ His eyes flutters as he whips his head to his phone again. 

_Fuck you, blonde bastards_.

It was all thanks to Armin and Annie last night.

The initial plan was to drop his dog Poe off, then give his childhood best friends vague life updates, and return home. But for some reason, the news of his 'girlfriend' reached them out - which shouldn't be a surprise since he knew Mom would interrogate them about such matter since they lived in the same city. The couple was beaming, but Eren ended up admitting the truth of his agenda; besides, they weren't going to show up the wedding anyway with Annie's swollen belly and she could be due at any minute. Obviously, they were disappointed at his dumb plot, but they ended up laughing at the absurdity of his desperation. 

In some way, they _kinda_ understood his reasoning and the history behind his indifference to 'serious dating'. But what intrigued them more was how this entire shenanigans was going to unfold _disastrously_. Armin suggested the idea of the aftermath of his family possibly wanting to know more about her after the wedding, likely questioning when they are planning to _settle -_ and from the words of his father a year ago, ' _Eren, we're all getting older and are you really going to wait for me to die before seeing my grandchildren?_ " (he's not even close to dying and would still do dumb shit like heli-skiing with his drunk uncles). Meanwhile Annie was basking in the glory of his... past ' _admiration''_ towards Mikasa, and hell, she thinks that this entire shit will bite him well in the ass.

_"How much you wanna bet one of you dingdongs will end up getting too, too carried away with this crap? "_

**Ridiculous.**

Even though he should be used to it by now that once in awhile they'd bring her up to taunt him, it never fails to irk him. God they need to move on, it had been three years - hell, around the earliest weeks of Mikasa being a new member of the 104th. He thought that it wasn't even a crush nor saw her as a potential date, simply because the quote-unquote _admiration_ was merely professional, meaning he respected her wit and skill _only_. But then Annie and Armin would keep poking sticks on his sides about it to the point that he ended up questioning himself sporadically and eventually spiraled into some unrequited crap he dreaded for awhile. It was a stupid time, but its clearly set in stone that they were completely out of each other's leagues, and as long as Mikasa remains clueless, he should be fine. 

_'I swear to all holy Maria, Sina, and Rose, I'm NOT dating a fucking cop again. Ugh! GOD! Eren, take my advice !"_

That was clearly a major sign, the morning after calling it quits with the Officer Kirstein dude. He remembers how her expression was a mix of sadness and relief, and Eren spirals into imaginations of his own - if that was him and Mikasa, he wouldn't only lose a _girlfriend_ but a best friend too; that would be two knives up up their own asses. Also, there's really no such thing as a mutual understanding between them, considering they were both constantly in the opposite sides of the lifestyle spectrum: she likes neatness, he likes mess, she likes order, he likes impulse. Things were definitely better this way and he just needed to prove to his friends they are wrong. Completely _fucking_ wrong. 

He clears his throat, hoping to slosh away the lump that began to appear once again. He wiggles his shoulder just enough for her to get her attention. "Psst."

Mikasa sandwiches a finger in between pages as a bookmark, groaning. "What!?"

"Sooooooooo..." He prepares himself for a bit - god, this feels embarrassing, but anything to prove Annie and Armin that the 'crush' chapter was definitely over. Waaaayyy over. "So uhm this entire shenanigans we're about to pull... We didn't really set a condition did we?"

"Conditions?" She furrows her brows. "Like what? According to my sticky notes, there were no such thing."

"Basically..." He grins awkwardly, looking away for awhile as if to fish the right words. "So, Miks... 

Whatever happens...

You're....

not supposed to fall in love with me.

We're _**not** _supposed to fall in love with each other..."

A bit of silence, but then Mikasa slightly chuckles, then it further ripples into a giggle that was still low and respectful to the sleeping passengers. She lost against the battle of trying to gather herself, tears forming as she drew the book to her face to muffle hiccupping chortles - _oh god, another of his inanities once again._ Eren couldn't help but slightly chuckle too much to his chagrin. "Seriously, Ackerman! I'm trying to be serious."

"How!? You really do say the most weirdest shit." She calms down, dabbing her tear ducts and shuffling in her seat. "Well, that's quite an interesting proposal, but if that's the case - same goes to you." She leans in, and Eren feels funny when a few strands of her hair tickle his cheek as she whispers on to his ear, "I know I could be... irresistible sometimes, so... let's see if I'm really the one to break the rule-"

He swats her away, growling in a whisper and scrunches his nose. "ACK! EW YOU'RE GROSS! EWWW AND STAY AWAY - YOUR BREATH IS HOT, IT STINKS!" 

Mikasa scowls, cupping her palm onto her mouth and blowing her breath to check if it emitted an odor. "No It's not!" She punches his arm and he gapes his mouth open. "My breath smells like Juicy Fruit, thank you very much!" 

"That doesn't help!"

"You literally slosh mouthwash and leave the door without brushing your teeth!"

"Hey! That was only _thrice_ when you wouldn't let me use your toothpaste!"

"Because! I know you don't put the cap back on and you squeeze the tube starting on the middle!"

"That matters to you!?"

"At least put the cap back on, dipshit! It's common sense." She rolls her eyes. "You see, that _falling-in-love_ bullshit you said is definitely not happening."

Eren smirks in such braggadocio, "God it would be such hell having to deal with you. I wonder if you'd yell at me for buying an off brand instead of Lysol!"

"I think I should be the one to say such words because you're right." She grins, resuming on resting her head on his shoulders once again and pinching his forearm. He hisses as he forcefully props her head to face her book, enticing a giggle.

"Ack! Go back to your dumb reading."

Later when their mini shenanigans was settled (well, it took for _Karen_ to bark and hiss at them), Eren checks his watch and read that they were merely thirty minutes away from landing. He feels relief; it was settled, that throughout five days, everything was just going to stay as a façade - nothing less, nothing more. It was just going to stay as a memory they'd laugh at in future stakeouts or feel embarrassed with depending on what predicament unfolds. Another story in the books that they'll leave to collect to dust, just like how he had already shoved away his quote-unquote _past admiration (_ or whatever the hell that fucking means) six feet deep in the pit of history he is _sure_ will never resurface.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for taking forever to update - I had to set this aside for a bit and take care of personal stuff like my applications and portfolio for my dream school (and I pray I get in ;-;).  
> I also overstressed this chapter and was quite disorganized on how I was going to continue to orchestrate the story - that's what happens when you don't plan things out properly *yikes*. I've been so conflicted on how this chapter will play out and I apologize if it's not great, I'm lowkey struggling on how to make a proper bridge to the actual events. I've rewritten this chapter like three times and it became frustrating, because I kept bouncing back between revisiting and abandoning it, lol. So, if there are any errors you spot or I need to address, please let me know.  
> The recent canon events also hindered me from writing something so light and cheery. God Isayama stop giving us French bread - _pain._  
>  I didn't really catch on until now that although this is in third person narrative, a lot of it is told through Eren's vantage point but I'll likely bounce with Mikasa's soon, again, depending on whatever direction I choose to take it when my brain gets its shit together lol. Idk I'm also trying to make a comedic approach to things but idk if I executed it well but fuckk itt. I'm literally so messy with this thing.  
> But anyway, I also want to thank you guys who left kudos, comments, or even just checking this out. It's my first fic I put out on the internet like I mentioned before. It feels scary to write, but I'm so grateful a handful of you took the time to read and appreciate this. I dead ass jumped up and down in my room the minute I just saw two kudos, haha. I hope I can update sooner than I did before. I wish to improve on my writing and efficiency in updating. I hope you guys enjoyed this one and stay safe <3


	3. Paradis Suites

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The shitshow begins.

"... And we already have rooms, Pieck said we have keys - I'll get them."

"O-Okay, I'll wait here."

The same feeling of marvel still lingered from the moment they spotted the hotel's exterior from the taxi. Mikasa was too busy perusing at the interior that she nearly ignored Eren who faded onto the kiosk anyway. Everything looked grand in comparison to the rundown motels she and her colleagues would crash at, and even if she did stay in lavish suites during leisure travels, she was usually indifferent about its architecture. She couldn't exactly pinpoint what the hell was so hypnotizing about the place. Paradis Suites is almost a typical vacation hotel she'd seen before in TV ads with annoying yet catchy theme songs Eren would belt out to piss her off. Except, it levelled up with intricate gold and baroque ornaments that, for an odd yet interesting reason, complimented well with the stereotypical tropical themed decorations. There was definitely the relaxing waft of saltwater that she figured sat behind the building, with the breeze tickling her ear gently every time the automatic doors would open. She had expectations that as much as the lobby was beautiful, the outside scenery of the beach would exceed its wonder. Mikasa steps out from her trance the minute she hears familiar footsteps and out of reflex, she catches the swipe card that Eren tosses at her. 

"We got two, one for me and youuuu... and you doing okay?" He sings until he catches her in a stupor. 

"Yeah... I just... I'm amazed...This place is really cool..." She looks around once more, gleaming in awe.

"I know it's crazy...." Eren shared the same look as he peruses the ceilings, the big fountain, running kids with squeaky flipflops - basically everything. Zeke and Pieck likely thought of this place as the last thing they'd consider for a venue, remarking how frugal they are. He figures that his half brother's mother, Dina, probably insisted so she could throw money and wave it around people (well, specifically his parents). Maybe he and Mikasa will take advantages of her and his mother's battles of backhanded compliments as distractions if ever needed - well that's if Dina does come. 

He then peers at Mikasa who sighs in such elation. "Glad I came, to be honest." 

"I guess that's to compensate the fuckery we're about to pull." They both chuckle. "Should we go? Our room's apparently in 502. Dinner starts somewhere at six and I think we should get dressed."

"Oh okay, let's go." Mikasa begins to wheel their bellman cart to the elevator, but Eren for some reason stops it with his foot and sheepishly smiles at her. "What now?"

"Can I pretty, pretty pleeeeasse ride the cart on the way-"

"No."

-

Well the room...

They expected that they'd share a suite because of certain arrangements, but the welcome decorations were quite an interesting surprise. Well, it was part of their burden they should've seen coming anyway but it was still... awkward. The queen sized bed had rose petals stretched across as a large heart and in the middle sat two swan towels placed behind two bathrobes. A little notecard read 'Welcome lovebirds, Eren and Mikasa!', right in the middle of the kissing swans that had a hibiscus sandwiched in between their mouths. A tensed silence hung between the two for awhile, which was the broken off by Eren clearing his throat. 

"So uhm... for the entire... uhm time, you wanna take the bed yourself?"

"Where... where would you sleep then?" 

The duo awkwardly shuffles to look around until they both land their eyes on a navy couch that faced the patio's door. 

"I'll take this one." He murmurs, pointing at it. Mikasa winces, dubious on whether or not he'd be able to sleep comfortably for a few nights. 

"Can you even fit there?"

"If I calculate the angles of where my foot and head should be placed, I can fold myself well. A Transformer could do it - I can too."

"You're not made out screws and bolts. What about taking turns?

"I'll be fine. I'm concerned about your posture." She rolls her eyes at his remark. "There's- oh hold on."

Eren fishes for his phone that was buzzing in his pocket. "Hello?...Oh... Hi Mama! Miks, it's my mom." His eyes widened, in which Mikasa nods and tunes in. "... Aaah, we just arrived here... Uhm yeah the room's really.. uhm... really nice... Really coolcoolcool..."

Without the weird ass welcome gift it would be.

"Restaurant outside? We can see it from here?"

He walks to the large windows, squinting his eyes onto the view in which Mikasa also follows suit. She ends up spotting the assumed section on the beach, beaming at the little area with tents, a large arc, torches, and a couple of tables. She taps his shoulder and onto to the glass, "Must be right there."

"I don't see it- oh! Oh, we found it, Ma... Dine by the Shore's the name? okay and we know at six...okay... see ya later... love you." She watches him sigh and shove his phone back in his pocket. "Well, we just have enough time to look decent - and you, less smelly." Mikasa raises her hand to punch his arm and he raised his arms in submission, "I'm kidding, I'm kidding!" 

"I'm not filthy - Mr. Feet's smell clung on to your crooked ass nose." She kisses her teeth, enticing a chuckle from Eren, before she walks towards her suitcase to pry it open. "I'm pretty sure there's only one shower so-"

"K, I'm going first."

Mikasa's lips pop open into a O, quickly snatching her travel purse sandwiched between a sweater and a shirt. "I was gonna say I was going first."

"But I said it first."

"You just told me I stink.

"I thought you said you don't"

She glares as she watched Eren whistle and began to drag his feet on to the bathroom- "HEY! Let's settle it coin toss like we always do."

He whips his head towards her. "Whyyyyy?"

"Because it's fair and square?"

"Ouukaayy, fine - what do you wanna call on?"

"Heads."

Eren nods, fiddling his grey sweats once again but this time, he fishes out the silver quarter and waves it around as if he was prepping a stage act. "Drum roll pleaaasee?"

"Just flip the damn thing!"

It cried out a little "ping" when Eren flicks it on his thumb. "The verdict saaayss..." Heads. He clears his throat, glances at Mikasa whose arms crossed and legs twitched. Her feet tapped rapidly in anticipation, seeming indicating that she's dying to go first, but then again, what's fair-and-square about Lady Luck always siding her? ".... Tails!"

Mikasa squints dubiously at the way he slyly grins - there was definitely something off the hooks. Taking large strides, she demands. "I don't think so! Let me see-" 

"Trust me!" He shoves the coin back into his pocket.

"I didn't even see-"

Eren lunges on to the bathroom door in a heartbeat, shutting it before Mikasa had the chance to resist from closing it. As there were echoing cackles behind the door, she on the other side was barking and gnawing at it like feral animal. 

"HEY!" It was pretty much pointless - unless she came up with a lie. "I NEED TO PEE!"

"NO YOU DON'T!"

"IF I PISS ON THE FLOOR I'M WIPING IT WITH YOUR HEAD."

"FINE." There was a large groan, ensued by stomps that gradually become louder. Mikasa smirks for while until the door bursts open with him glaring down at her. She dramatically groans, clutching on her stomach and coo'd a 'thank you'. She was on the verge of dipping her feet in the bathroom but Eren shoves her away, slamming the door shut and polishing it off with a 'click' by the knob - a 'fuck you' if you will. He celebrates with a witch-like cackling with the faucet creaking like thunder.

"Motherfucker." She growls then mutters curses like she was reading off a grimoire. For the hell he's dragging her into, he sure does have the fucking audacity. 

\--

Eren was debating on either choosing a dark green or pale blue cargo shorts with his white shirt, and when asking Mikasa about her opinion when it was her turn in the bathroom, she responded with petty silence. He ended up shrugging his shoulders and settled with the second option anyway. Ironically when Mikasa stepped out, she sported a midi dress of the same shade as his shorts; which horrified the hell out of her and it was perfect. He decided on topping everything off with a crimson shawl; personally not his style and quite an odd contrast to his light coloured vêtements, but to be fair he was prone to freezing his balls off even with a small breeze. Besides, Mama would appreciate it if he wore her gift which according to Dad, made quite a dent in her pocket when she visited Turkey.

"You ready?"

"Hold on." Literally the first thing she said after everything; Mikasa sure does have her petty moments due to her competitive nature. He checks his pockets if he has the swipe key and his phone, while she frantically shuffles through the room to fetch her sandals and sling bag. "I think I'm good."

He nods, proceeding to open the door until she pauses in front of the mirror beside it.

"Actually, give me a moment." Mikasa plucks her lips after applying Chapstick. As she was about to make a turn, she then groans, unravelling the messy low bun she originally had styled. Her damp semi-wavy hair touches right at her shoulders and she toys with it around to flatten the bumps, then tucks in a few strands behind her ear. When she was satisfied with the look, she grins at Eren who unbeknownst to her had been watching in slight wonder.

"Ready."

Like earlier, they were amazed at everything as they navigated along the labyrinth of the hotel. But oh god, the minute they stepped out into the scenery of the beach, their mouths hang opened in awe. For it being almost six in the evening, the sun was still up and on the verge of falling on to the horizon of the cerulean sea. Eren could already feel a couple of goosebumps ticking his knees at the breeze but he can't deny it was relaxing. They ended up landing on the familiar arc attached to low fences that they both saw from their suite; it was definitely bigger up close and the palm leaves and tropical flowers decorated with it was more prominent. A wooden lettering read 'Dine by the Shore' right on the middle. A couple of tables were filled up and both of their stomachs fold at the waft of seafood and other meals. Even from the arc, they spot a stage adjacent to a bar with a live band playing an acoustic rendition of 'The Girl from Ipanema', and to Eren's amusement, Mikasa was humming along in familiarity. 

"This one, right?" She pauses and he nods in gaeity to confirm.

They further step in into the arc which to them felt like baby steps into their thin ice. Although Mikasa has not met Eren's family before, she tried to recognize them through the photographs he'd show her from not only their 'study day', but also when he'd overshare stories to escape boredom. She feels a nudge and turns to Eren who tilts his head, pointing his arm that he's extending towards her.

"We're linking arms now, Ackerman." He raises his brow then opens his arm even more to create a bigger pocket. She rolls her eyes, giggling at the remark while snaking her arm through his bicep. Eren shakes his chests and shoulders as if to ruffle his feathers, "Okay m'lady I shall-"

" _AIRRR HEEEEEENNNN_ _?"_

They both turn to the direction of the howl, obviously confusing Mikasa but Eren's face lights up, gasping in such joy. "ZEH KEYYYYYY!"

For the first time she spots his older brother; they had distinct features from each other unlike her mother and aunt that people tend to confuse as twin sisters, but then again, Eren did mention they were half-siblings. The blonde and brunette brothers dart towards each other and hollered like children freed for recess - and Mikasa wishes their reunion was a bit _subtle_. A couple heads whip around, witnessing Eren being held by hips and spun in spirals with his arms spread wide, until they lose balance and collapse onto the sand. It invited a couple of giggles and for Mikasa, a tickle of second hand embarrassment. They don't seem to mind however, laughing along as they were covered in sand; their uncanny rhythm of giggling undoubtly marks them as brothers. When they finally cooled down, Eren dusts himself leaving Zeke to pant for a bit, and mini jogs his way towards her sheepishly. "Sorry, it's a Yeager brother thing - we haven't see each other for such a long time."

She chuckles, "It's okay." A deep but friendly 'hi!' creeps behind Eren, which prompts her to face the blonde Yeager brother. 

" Hey, I'm Zeke! you must be Mee.." Zeke seems to hold his tongue, fearing to butcher the pronunciation of her name.

"Meekahsuh..." She smiles and they both sheepishly extend their arms at the same time. "I'm fine with Mika too, or Eren calls me M-"

"My baby." 

Her shoulders froze.

Zeke fawns through a small 'awh', giving Eren a giddy nudge. "When did you learn how to be corny as fuck? Even the matching colours too - I see" The duo gave each other looks as if agreeing that they weren't gonna tell him it was accidental. "I'm sorry you have to deal with his crap all the time, Mikasa."

"C'mon I'm not that bad! - right Mik- _ **babe**?"_

 _"_ Whatever you say, dumba- _babe."_ And she swears her tongue tasted bitter. She pinches Eren's arm and grins when he gasps. "Ahhh, don't sweat it, I've dealt I guess you can say, worse." He winces at her and she shrugs, chuckling satirically along Zeke. 

"You can leave it for story time - or who knows, I'll be able to use some of your anecdotes when it's my turn to give my best man speech" He winks. "Whaddaya say, lil' bro?" 

Eren surpresses a groan the minute he smacks his back (but more importantly, bringing up the idea of _their_ wedding.) "NNnNyeahhHhH..." Mikasa seems to feel uneasy too - fluttering her eyes while remaining her jovial smile.

He seems to not think much of it, sighing in joy. "It's finally nice to meet you and I'm glad you could come! I've heard about you for years - god it was so annoying hearing about you _all the time._ But I'm glad Eren stopped being a pathetic chicken and got his head together!"

**Wait what.**

In such bewilderment, Mikasa whips her head slowly to Eren but before she had the chance to read his face, she was taken aback by squeak of a monkey and a woman's voice calling out for Zeke. When brother's shoulders part from each other, there revealed a petite woman with a capuchin monkey slumped over her shoulders - _she_ _must be Pieck, and oh? they allow monkeys in the resort?_

 _"ZEE! HEY LIL GUY!"_ Eren was beaming at the sight of the monkey, and in return, it lunged towards him, squawking in excitement. Mikasa slightly flinches before landing her eyes on Pieck again who looked as beautiul as in the photographs - but her smile was curled into a scowl.

" _Ezekiel_ , you know you're not supposed to throw Zee-Zee onto me like that! You know how panicky he gets!" Even when she sounded angry, her voice was somehow seductive.

Zeke sheepishly bends to plant a kiss on her forehead. "Sorry love, I was excited seeing my best man _._ " To his chagrin, he grits his teeth to Mikasa who chuckled.

Eren waves his hand at Pieck with his free arm, which prompts her to curve her lips onto the familiar smile. "How's my little brother goiiiinggg?"

He responds with a sassy tone. "The usualzzzz, ya know how it is sissss. Still got the moves like Yeagerz starting with a y, ending with a z."

They both giggle and reach for a hug, with Eren carefully placing Zee-Zee on his shoulders first. Pieck was on her tiptoes with him dancing her for a bit before pulling away. "Must be nice I assume - especially when our retired bachelor now has company." She winks at Mikasa. The bethroed couple's giggle was genuine, but the faux couple was definitely of discomfort. As the brothers fawn over the capucchin monkey, the two woman exchanged amiable smiles.

"Hi - Mikasa right? I'm sooo glad you could come! I'm Pieck. Mind if I hug my sister?"

Mikasa could feel her cheeks heat up, nodding in compliancy and reaching in for a quick hug. "Hi, yeah that would be me!" When they pulled away, they giggled. "Pieck! Like... mountain's _peak_!" She forms a triangle with her hand - which she instantly regrets when both Eren and the monkey winced and sucked their teeth at her pun.

"Hey! That's a unique take, I like it!" Fortunately it doesn't seem like she and Zeke minded or paid attention that she wanted to bury herself six feet deep under the sand.

"Ah I think we should lead them to the table now, love." Zeke places a hand over his fiancé's waist.

"Yeah, but there's really no rush - they're still playing one last round."

"Volleyball?" Eren mimics Zeke, and Mikasa tries her best not the flinch feeling his hands on her waist. Considering that it was sudden, he mouths an apology and she nods in understanding.

"Yup - I think we should really go before either Dad or Uncle Keith bust their mummified ass ankles out. Uncle Hannes is hammered as fuck now too."

The four of them disappear further into the crevices of the restaurant with the soon-to-be-wed couple ahead, giggling in such amore when Zeke plants a kiss on her cheek. Behind them would be the awkward Eren and Mikasa, stiffly dragging their legs across the sand and giving each other glances of 'yeo, we got this'.

"You're doing well, _detective_." Eren whispers, even hoping Zee-Zee on his shoulder wouldn't hear. 

"You too, _partner_." Mikasa giggles and snakes her arm towards his waist too when she found herself nearly losing balance with the sand collecting in her sandals.

\--

"Hey! Hey! Guess who's here!" Zeke beams to a long table.

"Heyyyyy!" 

Eren sings as well and Mikasa could note that he definitely got his energy from his older brother. All heads dart to them like a herd of deer caught in headlights; some of the faces she'd only seen in photographs were now infront of her and Eren. There was now a lump in her throat, and when she turns to her _boyfriend,_ she could tell that behind his energetic grin, he was crapping his pants - indicated by how his fingers were shaking and gripping on the shawl. A couple of happy gasps ensued, then an older woman with short brown hair sashays towards them. 

"Darlings!" She coos while spreading her arms open. For her age she looks really good; Eren did mention she's quite meticulous about keeping her appearance - _Miks, you're gonna hear some people, well especially grandma, cracking jokes about her boob job once in awhile_. _Also, never EVER mention anything about her nose._

"Auntie Faayeee!" Eren peels away from Mikasa to kiss his aunt's cheek while still holding on the monkey with one arm. "You're still as beautiful as ever - my god, was it your twenty first birthday yesterday?"

She swats his shoulders playfully. "You're full of crap." She laughs then ruffles his bangs, sighing. "You look like you've been abandoned in the Amazonian jungles, my, you and your brother with your hair - gosh. A few more inches and I'd mistaken you both for Zee-Zee over here."

Eren sheepishly chuckles and glances at his brother who rolls his eyes while grinning. "Yeah I guess..."

"And look who our little munchkin brought~"

Mikasa fiddles with the straps of her own purse. "H-Hi!"

"Awhhhh! Eren! She's gorgeous!" Faye places her hands on her chest as she approaches towards her.

"Yup she isss."

"Come here, bella!" Mikasa mutters a shy "oh" before both women exchange hospitable cheek pecks. "My! I wonder how gentlemen's necks you'd break just by your pretty face, dear!"

"I-I don't think so..." She grins awkwardly while glancing at Eren who chuckles at her shyness.

"Ugh! You're so pretty - it's like I'm looking at a mirror!"

"GET SOME WINDEX!" A voice of a grouchy woman roars, prompting the brothers, Mikasa, and Pieck to resist their chortles through biting their lips.

"Mama, please!" Faye flutters her lids and twitches her brow in disdain.

"Nana!" Eren coos at the sight of his grandmother, whose temper automatically cooled into a sentimental one.

"Heavens, my little Eren!" They both melt into a hug with her patting his back. "Ai, you're becoming more handsome - glad Carla's genes overpowered."

Not really knowing what to say, he just lets out a filler laugh. 

She smiles at Mikasa, "Hello, darling!"

"Hi Mrs.-"

"It's Nana Esther, okay baby?" 

Touched, she beams. "Okay... Nana."

Mikasa is still shocked that for being an octogenarian, Eren's grandmother looked robust despite her grey head - in fact, she'd think she was around her 60's instead. He was right that she's feisty yet has a balance of being sweet; she wont budge hurling sarcastic barks as she knits you a sweater. Maybe that's the secret to aging well.

"Mikasa right? I'm glad you could come - you're as gorgeous as Eren has told me." He clears his throat and looks away.

"Thank you, nana! And so are you! it's a pleasure I could come."

"... and I'm terribly sorry if wannabe Barbie disgraced you."

Faye pops her mouth open in an 'ah' which the older woman shrugs. "What? For Sina's sake, Faye Marie, your breasts aren't knit from the three goddesses - you put more money on those than the amount you're saving up for Gabriella's college."

 _Eren wasn't kidding_.

Zeke hunches over as he struggles to resist an outburst of laugh, and Pieck swats him arm. Faye clears her throat while plastering an obviously feigned smile. "I'll go get the rest of 'em." Then she marches in vexation to the large net a few feet away.

As Eren hands the monkey back to Zeke, two prepubescent girls launched at Eren - Gabi, his cousin and daughter of Aunt Faye, and Isabel, his younger sister (as Mikasa remembers, is actually his biological cousin through his mother's late sister). The girls seem to take a liking in Mikasa, showering her with compliments and giddily teasing Eren - which she also notes that he's definitely close with them. They also greet Pieck's father and two cousins: a tall one around their age named Bertolt, and a younger boy around the girls' age named Udo. Unbeknownst to Mikasa, Eren would periodically crane his neck around the table. Sure, there were a few seats empty that they were still anticipating for, but there was a certain company he, somewhat dreadfully, hoped would at least see a trace of. He squints his eyes, trying to find any imprints of Dina and Zeke's half sister, Ymir - to no avail. It slightly washes a sting on his chest, which made him to glance at his older brother who's laughing along with his fiancé and Nana. He could care less about her, but Zeke did mention at some point that he was looking forward for their attendance despite their tensed relationship. _Maybe tomorrow they'll come._

"Hello, hello! Everyone's here!"

All their heads whip to Faye and the panting company behind her, obviously drained from the arduous sport. He chuckles at the sight of Uncle Hannes, hammered as always and dragged by Uncle Keith and Uncle Tom who both seem to be full of his shit. His dad could barely keep his legs up, panting as he places a hand on his mom's shoulder as a guide. 

"You guys good?" He cheekily barks.

They tried to utter responses but the only thing that came out was loud 'Acks!' or indiscernible 'hello's''. His mom seemed to be filled with vim however, assuming she likely sat on the benches throughout the entire games.

"Ah! Hi honey! You're here!" She beams, swatting her husband's hand away to wrap Eren in embrace. 

"Hi Mama!" He plants a kiss on her forehead. 

Nana Esther was right - Eren is a full on carbon copy of his mother, facial hair and his green eyes aside. Mikasa notices how uncannily their eyes squint when they smiled from ear to ear; which their lips too, curved in the same shape. It was eerie yet fascinating. Eren seems to say something to her which Mikasa can't exactly discern, but it seems to be something about her, as evident from the way she eagerly whipped her head towards her direction. She lets out a big gasp, prompting Mikasa to blush and wave awkwardly in timidity.

"Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god! Sweetie, hi!" 

"Hello!"

The two women engulf in a hug and exchanged cheek pecks, Mikasa feeling intimidated of course - she was somewhat the catalyst of this entire thing (or the excuse Eren points his fingers at), that they have to be attentive to the most. Fortunately she wasn't even close to snobby which in the past Mikasa had encountered with an ex's mother. In fact, she guesses that Eren got his jolly and light personality from her.

"Ah, it's so nice to meet you, sweetheart! Oh my you're beautiful!"

"It's also wonderful to finally meet you, Mrs. Yeager - you too, are gorgeous!"

She squeals, "God, all this time Eren has been hiding you from us!"

"Yeahhhh... Well, I guess we were just navigating through things at those timesss." She sheepishly lets out a laugh.

"Yeah, I'd imagine - he did mention you guys work together."

Mikasa hums to confirm. "Yup. I mean we're just merely six months in and it's... it's still scary and new for us to be this way.." Mikasa shoots a glance at Eren, who mouths her a 'nice!'.

Eventually, Eren and his dad joins their mini circle, which he then formally introduces Mikasa as his 'girlfriend'. Of course they are happy; Carla's eyes on the verge of waterworks, sentimental about the both of them, then about her sons, and Grisha rubbing circles on her back while chuckling about her being dramatic. But he did also mention that he shared the same sentiment as his wife. Now Mikasa could see how he resembles his older brother; their father had their green eyes, their hair texture, and somewhat of their build too. She would assume he is a stern man from his stoic expression, but according to Eren, he is quite the contrary - the Thesaurus of the brothers' terrible puns and dad jokes, if you will. 

They also waved at his uncles who seemed to be too exhausted to even utter a 'hi' back, enticing laughter from the table. Then everyone seems to start arranging themselves, clearly initiating dinner. 

She somewhat feels guilty for being an imposter, but then again, it was Eren's idea. And _so far,_ it had been a success and their performance was well enough for everyone to buy their crap. After all, they did go to lengths by changing their accents and mannerisms when they were sneaking around in Quebec; which would cost their heads if they did get caught. So, they were pretty much naturals.

But then again, _so far_. 

_\----_

Eren feels like his stomach was twisted into different directions at the sight of plates being placed on the table. Mikasa also seems to be as hungry as him, her lips wriggling and she sheepishly wipes her drool. She and him grit their teeth goofily at each other - they haven't really had a proper meal throughout the day and to make matters worse, they lost their appetite during the flight. As he quickly lunges his arm at the lobsters, he instantly halts when his father shoots him a glare and croaks his throat.

"Everyone, let's say _**grace first."**_

Grisha raises his brow towards Eren, enticing a chuckle from Pieck and Zeke across the table. Holding in a sigh, Eren smiles and bobs his head in feigned concession. Everyone around the table began hanging their heads low, closing their eyes, and linking their hands together, with him obviously shuffling in his seat in such discomfort. A few seats down, Gabi and Isabel both kiss their teeth and shake their heads at him. Mikasa giggles as they held hands, making him roll his eyes until he shuts it.

"We thank you for blessing us this meal... For everyone safely arriving here... For blessing us with this beautiful place..."

There was no guarantee that the prayer would end soon - hell, the world would end before they'll recite _Amen_. The waft of seafood was literally making his head spin and mouth foam in such desperation. He tries ducking head lower and shutting his eyes even more to resist the temptation, but he ends up finding himself opening one eye to peak at the lobster tail he was trying to reach earlier. He opens both of his eyes slowly, then rippling into confident blinks realizing that everyone was submerge in the prayer. Then he turns to his right: Mikasa raising her brows at him and curling her lips downwards, resisting a laugh which he also mimics.

"... Thank you for the gift of love you give my son Ezekiel and our daughter Pieck and may you bless them happy years ahead..."

He bites his lip in anxiety. His eyes were completely locked on the lobster as if it called to him, but he knew if he snatched one, it would be to obvious. So he peers on to the basket beside it - _biscuits_.

He shots a look at Mikasa, who also reciprocates the same twitch. He rolls his eyes onto the basket and she automatically understood his game plan. Eren mouths, 'wanna split?', in which she nods and responds with 'you wanna do it since your arm's longer?'

'sure. you ready?'

'yeah."

And so the 'Biscuit Heist' began. Eren slowly peeled his hand away from hers, attentive to Nana on the other side of his shoulder. Mikasa pretty much was on the look out to see if anyone would bob their head upwards, occasionally glancing at his arm. Seeing Aunt Faye and Pieck slightly twitch, she kicks his shin - which fortunately Eren didn't bark drastically to. He gave her a scowl and she widens her eyes. Eren bites his lip as he aims for a second attempt, putting Mikasa at the edge of her seat in apprehension. 

It was a success.

He managed to snatch a biscuit in a beat, chowing half of it in victory. Mikasa opens her mouth in which he feeds her the rest, both of them closing their eyes in such satisfaction and while resisting moans.

"... I'm also thankful that I'll likely get to live long enough to see my grandchildren, of Zeke's and **_Eren's_ **young ones..."

And out their biscuits fly onto their plates.

\---

The dinner was pleasant as hoped. Mikasa and Eren could barely walk after being stuffed with pounds of seafood - and hell yeah it was worth it. The duo decided to stop by a bonfire, panting like Eren's uncles in such exhaustion. God knows how long they've had food this good - they usually settled for cold take outs and instant ramen noodles (well sometimes Mikasa would have much more _luxurious_ foods than him, cooking basic meal kits when he'd call sour gummy worms breakfast). 

Fortunately, throughout the entire time no one seemed to point their finger of the façade yet, but then again, everybody was too busy with enjoying the meals and catching up with each other's life updates. The champagne toast was somewhat of a disaster however, with Uncle Hannes literally pouring it on himself instead of drinking it, before passing out against the sand - which to Uncle Keith's displeasure, he hides him underneath the table to doze off until everyone finished their meal. 

It was already evening but the beach was still abuzz with music and people, but it wasn't cacophonic unlike the night life of Trost City. It was peaceful - likely because of the waves singing hushes every time it swept the shore with the breeze tickling their skin. They sat in silence as if collecting energy from the pale moon above them. Mikasa was stuck in a trance with the stars, Eren chuckling at her amusement. 

"You're looking at the sky funny."

"C'mon, it's beautiful - all we get in Trost is one dot and dumb neon signs."

"Fair." Eren also cranes his neck upwards to look at the sky. He too was surprised at how prominent they were, catching himself being amazed too - he thinks it sounds silly but he forgets how they looked like at some point. Not long, he hears Mikasa coo a silent 'hwoo', hugging her arms and folding herself inwards. The breeze was definitely becoming stronger and even with the fire in front of them, she was shivering. Although her dress was long enough to touch just below her knees, her shoulders and back were exposed. 

Eren, although he himself was freezing his balls off, decided to peel off the crimson shawl and wraps it around her shoulders. It looks like she needed it more anyway. Mikasa jolts and furrows her brows.

"What are you doing?"

He doesn't say anything but continues to wrap it carefully around her twice, just enough for it to be secure and to avoid sliding off. He smiles. "There, you were shivering."

"I wasn't."

"Stop being stupid, you shoulders began looking like raw chicken's skin - I'm gonna throw up."

She chuckles and kicks his thighs, which he cracks his mouth into a gasp. "That's the thanks I get!?"

Mikasa slightly throws herself backwards, laughing harder in which he finds himself joining her too. When she cools down, she smiles at him. "Thanks a lot."

Eren doesn't understand why his ears are on fire. "It's warm, isn't it?" She hums a satisfied 'mhm'. 

They pretty much sat in silence for awhile until both of them cracked into yawns. They had one hell of a long ass day; as much as they wanted to peruse the shores and the interior even more, they were too tired to do so. Besides, they still have a couple of days to wander around at their leisure. They decided on settling back to the suite, Eren propping himself up first so he could pull her up.

Navigating back to their rooms was easier than when they arrived, having familiarized the layout of the hotel. The door cried a satisfying ping when Eren presses his card against it, and they found themselves lunging and collapsing on to the bed, groaning. 

They haven't really settled on the sleeping arrangements properly, but Eren insists she takes the bed alone. His excuse was simply that he wanted to sleep in a pillow fort - which they were oddly blessed with a lot of pillows from the bed, couch, and the seat from the window sill. After getting cleaned up, both of them assemble Eren's pillow fort using the couch and coffee table, extending it in order to fit his frame. It only took one attempt for them to hit success, and they found themselves giddily celebrating through jumping up and down. 

Mikasa ends up dozing off before him, yelling goodnight in between yawns in which he utters back in glee too. Eren decided he was gonna sleep later, having seen that Die Hard was on TV. A ping from his phone cries out, and he checks the lockscreen, revealing a message from Armin.

**Coconut** 🥥💦

did y'all bone yet

Eren groans and tosses his phone onto the coffee table. God, they weren't gonna leave him alone with this shit.

\--------------------------

(sum visual sketches I did when i was stuck w blocks)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading again, I appreciate all of you who enjoy and support this. I'm trying my best to be much more quicker to update but I'm constantly stuck with writer's block and work - I'm so sorry.  
> Idk but I decided on changing the summary a bit but the story's still the same lol.  
> Thank you, thank you again for reading - stay safe y'all!


	4. Canary In A Coalmine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1) Mikasa learns new things about herself  
> 2) Eren being a jolly big brother  
> 3) His parents invite them for lunch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- The chapters title is a song by The Police (it was stuck in my head and motivated me to write something cheery - which I think is also a great beach song)  
> \- Note that the kids are around 8-9 here.  
> \- chapter is somewhat dialogue heavy, I think?  
> \- I just realized that it's 'FURLAN' not 'FARLAN' - I'm not going back to fix it lmao

The minute Mikasa's eyes fluttered open, she snaps them back into a wince. The room was bright with rays and even with curtains the light somehow managed to peak through cracks and shoot right at her eyes. She groggily hurls the blanket away to sit up, croaking a "Goomahnangg..." while arching her back forwards. Realizing that there was no response, she whips her head towards the couch - the fort was now neatly arranged into stacks of pillows on the seat and the carpet. Eren was obviously awake, so she assumes that he was likely in the bathroom. She drags herself to its door to knock

"Eren! You there?" No response. She places an ear but silence - no sign that he was inside. She furrows her brows, perusing the room once more and realizing that she was alone in the suite. "Where the hell..." She mumbles before reaching for her phone by the nightstand, the lock screen fortunately giving her answers.

**Yeager**

**good morning bebe girl 🤪🤮**

She rolls her eyes.

**i got up early lol izzy gabi udo wanted to swim ni have to watch them  
**

**u were literslly dead asleep n i didnt wanna wake up so i just left u alone but were at the beacj rn so just catch up here**

**if u want breakfast just go ring the phone**

**hey had buffet awhile ago at 8 but we missd it :(**

She didn't bother texting back. As she was planning to toss her phone onto the stand again, her phone cries out a sharp ping _\- 'Ackergang ❤️'_. It shifted her mood instantly from groggy to beaming. The family group chat may have invited a disappointed facepalm from her mom but for Mikasa, a chortle of appreciation for her dad who tried to blend in with the 'kids' trends'. It read 'good morning princess be careful at work today ❤️' with a motivational quote in the form of a pixelated screenshot. She grins heartily, responding with 'good morning mom and dad, i miss you both, dad take your meds, ma watch your sugar levels'. Then an image appears: Dad cheekily smiling and nearly pressing his cheek on the camera, with Mom behind him watering plants mid-yawn. Mikasa laughs, imagining her shooting him with the hose while barking, 'ELIAS, FUCKING TAKE THAT DOWN I LOOK TERRIBLE!' (A pretty feisty woman for someone being so petite; her dad made a _terrible_ mistake of calling her a Chihuahua once). Mikasa also snaps a photo of herself, doing her best not the reveal hints of the suite - they'll likely ask why she was in a different bedroom, and she'd rather not fish lies or reveal anything about the _undercover mission._

As she awaits for her photo to fully send, another message notification pops, reading "2 attachments" from Sasha. Mikasa furrows her brows.

**Sushi**

**MISS MIKASA ACKERMAN???????**

Mikasa furrows her brows, pressing Sasha's message that revealed grey blocks indicating the loading pictures. 

Hwoop!

Her eyes pop right open out of their sockets. 

Screen shots...

...Of last night's dinner photos posted by Zeke on Facebook. 

Everyone on the table last night was posing with relaxed grins and she remembers it was taken by the waiter (a seat was empty because of Mr. Hannes, of course, who was snoring under the table cloth). Then there it was: Eren wrapping his arm around her shoulder as their fingers were laced together - a _subtle_ PDA they agreed on for the sake of the photos.

**Sushi**

**AMERICA EXPLAINNNNNNNNNNnnnNNnn**

Mikasa wonders how Sasha was able to acquire the screenshots until she notices that Eren was tagged - he was likely clueless since the last time he ever touched Facebook was before they even met. Before she even has the chance to respond, the messages fade into a call which Mikasa dreads to press the green button. "Whaaat."

"MIKASA!" She utters a few curses, jolting when Sasha's voiced boomed onto the speakers. "YOU AND EREN?? A) IS THAT WHY Y'ALL AIN'T HERE!? AND B) WHEN D'YA GUYS START GOING OUT, C) HAVE WE ALL BEEN TOO BLIND-"

"SASH IT'S TEN IN THE MORNING CALM YOUR TITS DOWN!"

"Sorry, sorry! Got excited that'ya and Eren-"

She groans, "No- It's not like that please- Me and Eren aren't together at all, we aren't a thing."

"The pictures!? Connie n Floch freaked the fuck out."

Mikasa bites her lip and sighs through her nose. "Is there anyone else who saw the pictures?" 

"Naww- Me'n Caillou ain't showed them to nobody... _Yet_... Not sure 'bout Forster, though.'"

She rubs her forehead. "Sash, listen. This sounds ridiculous... but what happened is that me and Eren - please this stays between **us** and them too because they found the pictures anyway and they deserve some explanation."

"Uhuh I swear on my Bulgogi Cheesesteak sandwich."

She clears her throat, embarrassed. "Well he needed a date for his brother's wedding and he asked me out - we're _**pretending**_ to date each other so his mom doesn't set him up with random girls."

A cry of laughter ensues from the jolly Sasha. "This sum Adam Sandler crap! My god - no way!"

She sucks her teeth, "No seriously - But look, I just want to let you know please don't get the wrong idea when we come back - the minute we hop in the plane back to Trost, this shit's over - abubububup, I know that your brain is grinding gears and **NO, nothing else is going to happen."**

Sasha hums. "M'kay.", but Mikasa knows she's not convinced, already having a feeling she and Connie wont stop poking her and Eren's sides with sticks. Mikasa closes her eyes and fishes a distraction.

"Anyway, how's the precinct going-"

"Ahk! I know y'aint gonna give two shits about what we're all up to, Mikasa - you're changing the subject."

She rolls her eyes.

"But babe, just make sure y'aint drownin' yourself in five drinks - because the next thing y'know, you'll wake up cracking your noggin n' naked beside him."

_SINA_ -

Mikasa's mouth rips into a shocked 'ah', taken aback in such disgust. " **WHAT THE HELL!?"**

"Oh yeah, you don't know shi'bout the Ackerman Drinking Scale."

Her face was curled into a scowl. "The Acker-WHAT now!? And you mean you think I'm gonna sleep with him- SASHA BLAUSE! FUCK'S SAKE!" 

"Listen, listen - this is impor'nt!" Sasha clears her throat. "Remember Cap'n Smith's surprise party 'round last year?"

"Uh... huh?"

"Basic'lly, me, Forster, Lieut Hanj', and Caillou made an observation. In the past, we noticed how you morph into diff'nt versions of yourself depending how many drinks you gobble down." Mikasa blinks, becoming much more attentive. "The type-a drinks don't matter much but usually, I think the strong'uns really kick y'nuts. Are you following, Ackerman?"

"Uhm... sure..." She slowly squints her eyes.

"So, the Ackerman Drinking Scale according to Wikipedia-"

"An unreliable source, okay." Mikasa laughs hearing her grunt in disdain. "Sorry, go on, Sash."

"SO." Sasha clears her throat even louder. "The scale don't necessarily measure how alcohol escalates your courage - it plateaus once in awhile actually. It's kinda an indicator of what kinda hidden..." in a seductive raspy tone, she hushes," flamee Mikasa Ackerman burnsssss outwards - will it be red, will it be blue?"

"Oh god."

Sasha lets out a belly laugh. "No-am serious! Got a pen and paper on ya? I think you should write this shi'down."

"I can make mental notes instead."

"M'kay. Anyways, so we narrowed it down that your limit's eight drinks - we hoped for at least ten but your poor noggin busted on the floor right after eight."

Mikasa sheepishly rubs her neck, recalling how she woke up with a swollen forehead the night after the party. "Oh... uhm I guess yeah."

"Okay no seriously - each 'level' is referred by 'number', then Drink Mikasa. For example, Two-Drink Mikasa."

"O... kay.." Whatever this concept was, she felt apprehensive but also eager. 

"Let's start with One-Drink Mikasa: **boring as fuck."**

She winces, "Seriously!?"

"Y'ain't doing nothing! You're quiet and you just stare off at a wall like 'ya happy soul left yer body."

"I guess it's because it doesn't really kick right in, you know?"

"Ye I guess so... Then you got Two-Drink Mikasa: you laugh at everythin', it's kinda 'larious at first but it then becomes... uhm weird... _scary_." 

"Oh." 

"So I guess that's why Three-Drink Mikasa compensates for it - y'aint boring anymore. This is where you get extremely philosophical or gotchur cabeza fired up for debates. I dunno know if you remember but you basically argued with Cap'n Smith whether or not tomato's a 'fruit' or a 'vegetable'; both of you started pulling out history and economics smart-people-shit out of the hat - and oh, you begged he ought to give 'ya a raise." 

Mikasa raises her brows, "Who won?"

"Unknown - you took the forth shot before the verdict's determined."

She giggles. "Carry on."

"Okay," She sighs. "Four-Drink Mikasa's confidence- wheeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwww. You're dancin' and-or singing, is a hit or miss of Hamilton or Cats. We either get Beyoncé or somethin' terrible as Sarge Moblit's when he's sober." The two women find themselves bursting into a fit of laughter. "BUT! Ackerman - I gotta warn 'ya FIVE-DRINK MIKASA - DANGER ZONE! I REPEAT, DANGER ZONE."

"... Why?" She gulps. 

"You'z **horny** as fuck."

Mikasa feels her shoulders tense up as her cheeks began to burn. Her throat had a lump and being stuck with nothing really anything to say to react, she lets out a nervous laughter. "Whaaaaat?" Her voice definitely raised three decibels higher. 

"You flirted with the Lieut. They said 'hey Ackerman, maybe you need to cool it down a bit', - the next thing we see's 'ya biting your lips saying 'make me'." She mockingly moans. 

"Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god." Mikasa throws herself on to the bed, letting out a muffled scream underneath a pillow. "SASH YOU'RE LYING!"

"Ya flirted with the gumball machine too-"

"You're not making it better!" Sasha rips out a satirical laugh. "You're not helping!!!"

"Don't worry! You'z fucked up like everyone else that time - Hanji thought's all hilarious. My point was, well aside from you being crazy - I mean realllyyy crazy - it's definitely somethin' you keep both 'ya eyes on - and I know that you're in good hands 'cuz you got someone we trust like Eren. But please, be careful that it could be reaaaaally dangerous for you when 'ya got company ain't worthy trusting, okay?" 

Understanding her precaution, she smiles softly. "Thanks, Sash. I appreciate it... even though that'll haunt me every time I have to face Lieut. But thanks for _telling_ me to NEVER stop at five."

"I want'cha to stop at **four**."

Both of them chuckle, until Mikasa sighs. "Well, that embarrassing shit aside, what's 'Six-Drink Mikasa'?" She was slowly picking up on the scale quite well.

"Hmmm... The 'downhill' - not fun - you're depressing n' morbid."

"Sounds boring."

"You made Eren n' Floch cry, somethin' 'bout you talking 'bout existential dread and somethin' about the freedom of chicken nuggets-"

" **DETECTIVE BLAUSE! YOU SHOULD BE WORKI-"**

Mikasa found herself jolting at Captain Smith's bark; Sasha didn't even have the chance to say goodbye. She lets out a half chuckle - poor Sasha was probably attracting heads to her desk with the Captain towering her. 

Processing the information she acquired - which in some ways is useful and at the same time useless, she sighs and flips herself facing at the ceiling. She was definitely learning something new about herself. But what the hell was Seven-Drink Mikasa? She knew that Eight-Drink Mikasa was a ticket to the ER with a concussion. Maybe she should ask Sasha later about it, but then again, if Five is the quote-unquote Danger Zone, she didn't really mind if Seven-Drink Mikasa remained a mystery (especially since Six-Drink Mikasa determined such a plateau). At times such as this, she definitely needed to watch herself and drink responsibly. She pulls herself upwards again, rubbing her face to a sigh. There was no time dilly-dallying; she still has a couple of days to deal with this entire bullshit. 

\----

"Can we do something else?" He feels a tug on his arm which prompts him to look down towards Isabel. "This kind of getting boring." 

Eren hums for awhile as the kids stare at him like sheep waiting for their shepherd. He originally chaperoned Udo, Gabi and Isabel, but the kids made friends with two boys around their age named Falco and Farlan - and the herd grew. After games of 'water tag' and volleyball (where Eren eventually had to step in to even out the teams), he ends up leading them into a game using water guns (which made quite a dent in his pocket - god, $15 for one? And he had to buy six!). Now, he was pretty much the 'chief' having to orchestrate entertainment for the kids and he has no clue how to fill in the gaps of ennui-

_Actually..._

He squints while shielding his eyes from the sun with a hand, peering the shore.

"What is he looking at?" Gabi whispers to Isabel who shrugs her shoulders.

"I don't know."

He makes a beeline towards the sea and stops just right where the water and the sea kiss each other. The five of them blink their eyes, confused at Eren who crouches down, seemingly poking his finger in the wet sand. 

"What is he doing?" Udo mumbles. 

"It looks like he's digging." Farlan squints.

"Should we go see?" Falco tilts his head.

Eren was creating small pits to fishing for shells. Not hollow ones, but of baby hermit crabs hiding in them. He beams realizing that in the small crevice he spots at least two wiggling back in the sand, prompting him to dig another hole adjacent to it - more crabs! That means there was definitely an abundance of the little guys around. He whips his head cheerfully to the kids. "Get some buckets and come here!" He yells out with one hand cupping his mouth. 

They all gave each other confused looks, shrugging their shoulders before they split up to fetch buckets. Eren finds himself snickering at the kids hollering and scampering after his sister cries out 'RACE YOU!'. They huddle and pant around Eren, Udo being the last and whining about how he didn't get a head start, instigating a taunt from Farlan - which he has to step in and to the boys' chagrin, they uttered forced apologies. 

He sighs, "The little guys wont like it if you keep fighting!"

"Little guys?" They all murmur simultaneously, even more puzzled.

Eren spots a rough shell with spots, checking it if there were legs before he then gently places it on his palm. The kids draw themselves closer in curiosity, observing Eren blowing onto the crevice and forcing the crab to show off all its legs. The kids all gasp in both awe and fear when it becomes crawling around.

"E-Eren don't they bite?" Gabi hesitantly peers the crab.

"You might feel a teeny weeny pinch but these lil guys are nice, they only tickle - wanna try?"

She takes a step back, vigorously shaking her head. Meanwhile Isabel steps in keenly with a cupped hands. "I'll do it! I'll do it!" 

"Okay!" Eren gently places the crab, causing her to slightly jolt. Her giggle had indicated she fully adjusted, in which the other kids (except Gabi) gain confidence to lean closer. 

"See! He's not bad!"

"So what exactly are we doing?" Udo raises his brow, 

"Gimme your bucket, Udo." The boy hands him the bucket and Eren fills it with sand halfway. He makes a little pocket on a corner, making way for the water he collected behind him. He began picking stones, "When me and Zeke were little, we used to look for hermit crabs when we'd go to the beach! We usually see who finds the bigger or biggest one!" He arranges the stones carefully in the bucket. "Or we just catch as much as we can for fun."

"Do you take 'em home? Like pets?" Falco blinks, and Eren shakes his head.

"We have to let them go - they'll die if we don't. But we make houses for them while we're here like this!" He shows them the finished terrarium, enticing a choir of 'oooooh!'. "Izzy, can you put the crab in?"

She blushes while twiddling her red pigtails. "Uhm... I accidentally let go of it... I'm sorry, Eren..."

He chuckles. "That's okay! I'll show you all how to catch - but first, let's all make your houses!" 

They all instantly pick up their buckets, trying to mimic the terrarium Eren made. He'd fix slight errors such as taking or adding sand, or putting a bit more water until it matched Udo's bucket. 

"Ouu kay!!! Is everyone coolcoolcool?"

"Yes sir! We're all coolcoolcool!" All of them cheerily respond, bringing a smile to Eren's face - _the chant really stuck to them_. 

"Watch and leaaarn." The kids carefully observe Eren forming pits on the wet sand, deep enough to reveal a couple of crustaceans. Some crawl back into the burrows, and he snatches one rapidly by its shell. "Speed is the key - just don't grab them by the legs, it's gonna hurt them. Use both of your hands if you need to - touch the shell _only_." He smiles while watching it peruse around his hand then gently places it onto Gabi's bucket. She shrieks a bit, causing Eren to giggle. The crab ends up burrowing itself in the mountain she made. "Ah, someone seems to like their house a lot!"

"Are they gonna jump? Are they going to bite me?" 

"Gabi, they're tiny, you'll be fine! Here - gimme your hand-"

"NO!" 

Falco rushes to her aid, "H-hey, if she doesn't wanna do it - I-I'll do it!" He was red - _someone looks like they have a crush._

Eren giggles, fishing for a new shell once again with his back turned against them. "Gabriella, you wont get to the other side if you don't cross the bridge."

She blinks. "Huh?"

He suddenly hurls a shell onto her lap, causing her to shriek and wiggle around frantically, prompting the kids to fly and scream too. Gabi ends up wailing as she tumbles on the sand. As Falco rubs her back, the rest of the kids were laughing with Eren. 

"IT'S NOT FUNNY!" She barks in between sniffles. Eren folds his arms akimbo, uncontrollably whipping his head back in a fit of cackles. "IT'S NOT FUNNY, EREN, IT'S NOT!"

"I'm sorry-"

"Eren! Eren! Like this!?" Farlan beams while showing off two crabs.

"Yes! You got it! Now put 'em in your house so they don't run away!" 

The young boy nods and does as instructed. Gabi was still folding her arms and glaring at Eren, her eyes obviously still drenched in tears. He smiles at her but she rolls her eyes.

"Gabi-"

"I don't want to do this! I hate it!"

"Y-yeah... This is terrible!" _Falco being supportive, huh?_

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Eren chuckles. "But seriously, come here. It's gonna be fine-"

"You're gonna toss one again!"

"I won't!"

"It's going to bite me!"

"It's gonna tickle you, not bite!"

"You're lying!"

"I'm not!"

"You are!"

"Trust me!"

"NO!"

"You're gonna be fine."

"YOU'RE LYING."

"Gabi, it's fine."

"NO!"

"It's not scary as you think it is!"

"YOU'RE A LIAR!"

Eren fishes out a crab once again as the others gleefully ducked their heads. "Gabriella, just trust me."

"You threw it at me-"

"Falco, come here."

She whips her head towards him, frantically shrieking. "HE'S GONNA THROW IT AT YOU!"

"I wont, I won't!"

Falco glances at the two cousins, stuck between Gabi's scowl and Eren's smile. His throat bobs at the sight of the crawling shell. "U-uhm..."

"It's all gonna be fine, just show me your hand." He gently walks towards the trembling kids while attentive to the crab not flinging away. Falco reluctantly cups his hands, where Eren gently places the shell. He holds his breath for a bit, then releasing into a relieved sigh, then a laughter. 

"It tickles!" 

"See!"

Gabi was still reluctant, jolting when the boy turns his hands towards her. "It's actually not that bad, Gabi!" 

The young girl blinks at Eren, who shrugs. "Told 'ya!"

"Open your hand!"

"NO!" _He shouldn't have tossed it at her._ Later for some odd reason, Falco was able to convince her; it took awhile since the poor girl was shivering. As soon as the shell touches her palm, she freezes momentarily, then all of a sudden the silence rippled into a laughter of relief. 

"Seeeee!" Eren cheers her on and Gabi proudly reveals her hands towards her cousin, ecstatic about overcoming her fear. He ruffles her bangs and both of them giggle.

"Falco! Let's go put it in my house and get more!" They both scamper to where the rest of the kids are with such vim.

"Sounds like they're having lots of fun with big brother Eren."

Eren whips his head towards the familiar chirp and-

He gulps - must be him not drinking enough water. 

He's stuck - must be his muscles cramping and tired of running around with the kids.

His cheeks and ears on flames- must be the sun cooking his skin.

There she was, pushing her raven hair backwards as the wind blew kisses on her pale skin. She had sunglasses on that hid her deep dark eyes that could kill with one glance. He knows she spends as much time working out as much as he'd chow a bowl of M&M's on a Friday night; even with her floral cover up on, her pink bikini and denim shorts vainly flaunted her toned body. The dress had a slit that opened and closed like shy curtains teasing her thick thighs. She carried a phone and a book in one hand, while tucking her hair behind her ear with the other. She then waves her arms out, calling his name but all he hears are muffles of his surroundings-

His consciousness barks at him and he flutters his eyes, croaking his throat in extreme shame. Eren suddenly feels a sting on his arm, causing his mouth to pop open into an 'ah'.

"Thanks for waiting for me, dipshit." 

He rubs rubbing the aftermath of her punch. He tries to fish something to say to her, but he feels like his tongue was caught on a leash. 

"The kids?" She peers at them eagerly. "What are they up to?"

"Ah, hermit crabs." He grins, fluttering his eyes to shake off his discomfiture. 

"Oh! They have a lot of these lil guys sticking around here? I used to dig some when I'd visit Aunt Kiyomi's beach house." 

"In Hizuru, right?"

She hums. They watch the kids in silence for awhile, Mikasa giggling at Isabel hurling water at Farlan. "They made friends?"

"Yeah - two boys, Farlan and Falco. I think Falco has a big crush on Gabi."

"Awwhh... And I think someone also has a crush on little Izzy - watch out, big brother." 

And she was right - Farlan was overprotective of Isabel touching rough stones she'd clumsily pick up instead of crabs. "Crushes don't hurt - and they seem to be such nice kids."

"Then there's always an _Udo_." She points at the kid, who was left to his own devices. He looked clueless of the arrangement; oblivious that he was sandwiched between boys with red cheeks and eyes glued on the girls. They laugh, Mikasa plateauing onto a sigh and taps his shoulder. "I'll stay on the sidelines and just wait for you and the kids."

"Okay." He watches her disappear onto the beach umbrellas and chairs. She props herself onto a seat, crossing her legs as she flips the book open. 

Eren glances at the kids, then back to Mikasa, and onto to the water guns that lay a few feet away from him. He smirks at her without her knowledge, jogging to the kids with a brilliant plan in his head. 

"Hey! Guys! Guys!" He calls out in half-whisper half-yell, prompting the kids to whip their heads. "Grab your guns."

"Why?" 

Eren cheekily points at Mikasa, popping their mouths open into eager gasps. They forget about the crabs, scampering on to their guns and to the shallow water to fill it. Isabel hands him his gun which then fills it up and sloshes it around to check if it was fully loaded. He fans himself, bringing the kids into a circle. "You see the girl I just pointed at?"

Farlan squints at Mikasa and whispers. "That pretty lady reading a book?"

"That's his girlfriend, Farlan!" And cue the teasing ' _ooooooHhHhH, his girlffrrriiiiendddd_!!!' then bursts of hearty giggles (he swears his cheeks were on its second stage of sunburn). He waves his free hand rapidly to shush them.

"Hey! Hey! We have a mission! Focus! Focus!" He signals for them to huddle into a tighter circle and he begins to tell them his game plan. 

"... Got it??? Okay so when my hand does this, what does it mean again?" He raises a free hand, showing off his palm.

" _ **NO, NOT YET,**_ **SIR!** " 

He chuckles, amazed at the military-like chant. "Okay, good! Now, what aboutttttt..." He quickly folds his fingers into a strong fist. "...THIS?"

**"FIRE, SIR!"**

After a couple more nods, ticklish giggles, and final 'sir, yes, sir's later, the _operation_ began. Eren begins to walk stealthily while nearly crouching, having the kids mimic his steps behind him. All eyes were focused on his hand, anticipating for his 'fire' signal. Mikasa seems to be oblivious that a force was about to sabotage her, placidly flipping pages with no care about her surroundings. After a couple of strides and reaching close to the target, he instructs them to surround her circumference by forming circles with his index finger (and they surprisingly understood). She seems to be stuck in a trance and that means one thing - _bingo, a perfect deer to shoot a dart at._ He smirks, noticing the kids on their toes for his orders, attentive to his hand like dogs to a treat - 

Then the fist curls firmly.

_**"FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHYYEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!"** _

_**"** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!"_

__

Mikasa hurls her book away, flailing her arms frantically while screaming atop of her lungs. As the lasers of water die out, she gasps for air and pants, which causes the kids and Eren to rip out taunting laughters. She gapes her mouth open, taking off her glasses that revealed one hell of a death glare: _Eren's cue to start running._

" **EVERYONE** **ABORT! ABORT!"**

" **AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH**!!!" The kids split up but Mikasa only ensues Eren as he was the mastermind. She hurls curses and sand she'd collect along the way at him, dodging the liquid bullets from his gun. 

"SHOOT HER! SHOOT HER!" Eren commands, his stomach aching from laughing at her going mad. Mikasa's frustration fades into giggles with the kids' lasers tickling her neck as her body bobbed up and down, running. Eren ends up losing all of his water, causing him to fling his gun and sprint faster like his life depended on it. He spots a palm tree a few feet ahead, planning on _breaking her ankles_ through a deceit - her finger was in close proximity to his bun and he had no choice. 

"SHIT!" He cries out, hearing her growling even closer. Hitting the cue, he flips his body to dodge her but-

" _ **OOOOF!"**_

_THUD!_

__

A tensed tableau; Eren hunched awkwardly on top of Mikasa, whose back was flat against the sand. 

The sounds of the beach were all muted into a deafening ringing in their ears; the two of them completely locked into each others trapped gazes. Their exhausted panting became a synchronous rhythm, some sort of a hypnotizing chanting spell. His bangs tickle her cheek; Mikasa doesn't know why her body feels like it's on fire and she can't find any ways of putting it out. Eren convinces himself the sun was _gracing_ him with third degree burns all over his skin. Their foreheads touched each other, nose in close proximity of booping, subconscious eyes trailing down at-

"AHCK!" They both squint their eyes and wince at the sudden ray of water hitting their faces. 

"OOOOUUUUUUHHHH~ LOVEBIRDSSS~!"

The kids coo and aim lasers of water at them, which prompts the duo to sit up and shield themselves. Eren and Mikasa exchange smug winks, before suddenly surprising them with a jump.

"RUUUUNNN, THEY'RE AFTER US!!!"

\----

It took Faye's hand and a howl for lunch to halt the games, prompting the kids scampering onto to a table. Eren and Mikasa decided it was best to deviate themselves from the group; somewhat tired of hearing the kids fawning about their _relationship_ and at the same time, they were eager to explore different food instead of pizza and chicken wings. They craned their necks at the different signs, humming and pingponging questions of 'what'cha wanna eat?', while passing by kiosks and stands. The smoke and waft of food aroused their hunger and heightened their indecisiveness...

"Eren, Mikasa!" They whip their heads, spotting Carla waving at them. "Hi darlings!"

"Ah, Mama! Pa!" Eren waves back as Mikasa grins.

"Did you two eat yet?" Grisha saunters toward them alongside his wife. "If not, you should join us."

The duo gave each other quick glances before shrugging their shoulders in compliancy. Well, at least they'll stop wasting time trying to further decide. "Okay!"

They settled on a table close to a hut with a live cook, humming and glaring at the menu while the waiter fiddles with a pencil. A couple of minutes later, they nod their heads to confirm their order that the waiter then picks up. Both Mikasa and Eren quickly picked up their glasses of water to quench their thirst (well, more like to mentally prepare themselves to fish for alibis). 

"So, how are you guys enjoying everything so far?" Carla rests a knuckle on her cheek.

Eren peels the glasses from his lips and rips out a loud 'ah'. "We're definitely liking it here very very much, momma dear, Whaddaya think, _bae_?"

"Oh yeah, I'm liking it here too... _babe_." 

"Ah, must be nice to take a breather from work." Carla's lips curled into a hearty smile. "You guys seem to have quite a lot in your plates I assume." 

The duo hums, Grisha forming circles on the table using his glass. "Carla and I started out being colleagues too." He glances at her with warmness and they share smiles of nostalgia and endearment. 

"Oh yeah, _babe_ , I think I mention that they met during their residency?" 

"Uh yes _babe_ both surgeons now you said... _babe_." _More like she remembers the sticky note._

"Colleagues, huh... Advice - don't get _caught_ in the breakroom."

"Oh, you flirt- you couldn't wait~!" Carla nudges his arm as they broke into a fit of flirtatious laughter, seemingly disregarding that their son's face was coloured red. Mikasa meanwhile cranes her necks to the surroundings, not really knowing what to do. Eren croaks his throat loudly, stopping deeper explorations of the subtle innuendo. 

"Okayyyy, I think you guys should get to know _someone_ over here, Ma, Pa." 

"Oh of course, honey!"

Eren grips her shoulders which Mikasa then awkwardly wraps her hand around his.It looked he was showing her off like a fifth grader dubious about their project poster, and she was the notecard that could fling away anytime. "This is... she's... my _amazing girlfriend_ that I deffo... smoosh booties wiittthh..." 

Mikasa utters through her gritted teeth while facing his parents. " _You're doing that weird thing with your voice, Yeager."_

"So tell us about yourself, Mikasa."

Well she can orchestrate a pseudo life but she's terirble at giving a dossier of her personal life, "I... work with Eren. I'm a _daughter_." His parents gape their mouths open and gently move their heads, awaiting for more details.

Eren catching on her awkwardness, steps in. "She can be shy - but she's a bright, bright girl." 

"Bright?" Mikasa cocks a brow. 

"Oh yes, yes." Eren grips her skin a bit tighter. "My nerdie birdie - proud magnet school alumni, overachiever valedictorian, top 1 in her batch in the academy, nearly scored perfect in the entrance exams, ballet and martial arts prodigy, polyglot and dog whisperer, inventor of pen coding exclusive to us, can do quick maths - usually gets it right, puts the toothpaste cap back on after using it, and rejects pillows for _spinal alignment -_ the epitome of every parents' _golden_ _child_." He smiles with such 'pride', wriggling his brows at Mikasa who slightly throws her head back with a wince. "...Myyyy _amazing_ and _beautiful and too perfect_ and _lovely_ and very, very real baby Gorilla.. girl... that ... helps my heart ... pump more blood... faster - Mikasa Ackerman, that is.' 

She mouths, 'was some of it necessary!?'

It seemed like his parents were focused on her actual achievements of course, uttering amazed 'woahs'. Grisha presses his glasses. "Wow... quite a resume."

"Oh, thank you, sir. I try my best." Eren rolls his eyes at the way she was somewhat soaking in vanity. 

"Eren must have a hard time arguing with you." Carla giggles, her son's face fading into a bored one. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding."

"Yeaahh... I guess putting my foot down doesn't do wonders even though there are times she's _clearly_ wrong. _"_

"Ah of course!" She glares. "Gummy worms and beef jerky are definitely breakfast! Crushing raw ramen and sprinkling the soup base is a Five-Star dinner!" Eren's eyes grow wide and she smirks. " _Oh_ Mrs. Yeager, I worry about your _son_ \- I have to constantly remind him that carrots are _not purple_." 

_Rule number three, never mention anything about what I eat to mom. **Status: failed to comply.**_

" _Eren_." Carla's mood shifted. "What did I tell you about your vitamin deficiency!?" Her tone dunked three decibels lower.

He rubs his neck. "Ma, c'mon - Nana sends me Flintstones gummies once in a while and they help! It has everything I need - also gummies have gelatin, gelatin has protein, so gummy worms aren't bad!"

" _Ay_ , _Papa Dios_..." She closes her eyes. Mikasa shakes her head at him and kisses her teeth in mock disappointment. 

Grisha apprehensively drinks his water and looks away. The waiter comes back, now bringing in their food, prompting all of their drools beginning to escape their lips. The last plate was set on his placemat - Carla's face turning livid and him sheepishly rubbing his neck. Everything on the plate screamed meat and oil; no traces of greens at all. 

"Seriously! Your cholesterol!!!" She groans, "Mikasa, you see what I have to deal with!? They're all so _stubborn -_ Drop dead, any of you at this moment, and I'm walking back to Shiganshina without batting an eye." She angrily picks up her utensils and aggressively stabs her potatoes. 

The father and son's nervous chuckle rippled into a confident one, leaving Carla to shake her head. Mikasa couldn't help but giggle too; it was clear as day where Eren got his poor concern about diets - temptation (or his case laziness and frugality) overrides their worry about their health. For a minute they ate in silence, savoring the food and uttering satisfied groans. Carla meanwhile would purposely scrape her plate, enticing her boys to exchange looks of giddy shame. That was well until Grisha decided to break the silence by fishing a topic to deviate from his wife's frustration.

"Hm, Mikasa. Your last name's Ackerman?"

She nods, quickly swallowing her food. "Yes, sir."

"I knew an Ackerman once. A great friend of mine back in the day - Elias? A bright kid too."

Mikasa's eyes widen, Eren furrowing his brows. "My dad's name is Elias..."

His mouth pops open into an 'oh'. "Middle name... Michael? Blonde and tall scrawny kid?" 

She bobs her head slowly in shock. "Yeah... but not exactly scrawny." _More like having a beer pouch._

"A small world!" He amusingly cries, Carla still scraping her plate. "I miss that guy! Tell him that we should meet up sometime - what are the chances my son and his daughter get together, huh?" Eren and Mikasa nervously chuckle. On Eren's part, Armin's prophecy about his parents wanting to bond with her family was peaking through. "So, Elias is now a pilot?"

She shakes her head. "No, he became a cop like most Ackermans."

Grisha bursts into a loud laugh which raised brows. "That's ironic! Carla, he taught many kids on the campus how to roll blunts - we often joke about him going into aviation so he could _literally get high_. Overall, a very generous and quite a benevolent guy - that likely overpowered his decision to switch paths." 

"Oh." Mikasa doesn't really know what to do with this information. "Yet he didn't allow me to drink coffee until I was eighteen." 

"Explains your caffeine addiction now _babe."_ She rolls her eyes. 

"Well, I don't know what changed - maybe flying a plane for hours wasn't his thing."

"I suppose so - well as Eren mentioned, you definitely got the brains from him; he'd piss off profs for napping but puts them in their place when he'd correct their errors"

Eren chuckles, "Ahhh, _correcting -_ a classic Mikasa thing." And her eyes roll once again.

His vim dies out with a comforted sigh with Carla now stepping in to ask. "What about your mom, Mikasa? You must be half Japanese assuming from your name." 

Mikasa hums keenly. "I am, Mrs. Yeager."

"Mama, I think you'll get a long with Mrs. Ackerman well - she dances like you."

She blushes, "Oh _please_ , I left that years, years ago." They all chuckle. "Hmm... Dancing as Eren said?"

"Well, she teaches ballet to be exact, professionally at an arts school." 

"Oh! That's amazing! I supposed she trained you too?"

"Yeah but... I loved martial arts more - ballet wasn't my forte."

Carla utters a fascinated 'ah', carefully slicing her steak. "They sound like such interesting folks I'd definitely love to meet up with sometime - especially since your fathers seem to be such great friends!"

"Why of course, hon. It's great - We should definitely invite them to our lake house sometime." Their eyes pop out of their sockets.

"Mhm!!! That'll be so great!"

_Yu_ _p, they definitely had a new mission to prevent another 'hell' from happening._ "Ah sure, Mama, Pa, sure - you'll have a swell time with them - uhhhh..." Eren decides it was best to segue. "Mikasa, _babe_ , how are you liking the food so far?"

"A lot, _babe_. Better than _gummy worms_." She strikes a conceited smirk, enticing giggles with Eren feigning his. He shuffles his leg under the table, aiming to kick her shin.

"OW!" _SHIT, NO NO NO NOT MOM. "_ Who the hell kicked me!?"

The duo gave each other looks, Eren looking guilty as shit. "Ah, Mrs. Yeager, it must be your lovely son's gelatin spasms. I guess too much _protein_ can get him too- **OW**!" She folds herself into a crouch, resisting a growl.

Eren sighs, "Sorry, Mama. It must be the _sugars_ trying to- **AAH**!" He jolts up feeling a sharp pain on his calf. His parents shoot looks of concern.

"...Are you two... okay?" "Is everything... alright?"

Eren sheepishly laughs. "AAaahHh, It's... It's a _love language_... This is how we speak - _I love you, babe._ " He resists a groan - _her kick would of course be stronger than his._ "You know what they saaayy, haha, with love comes... _pain_."

Mikasa squints her eyes, chuckling behind an uncomfortable smile and snakes her hand on his cheek. "Why of course, right _baby_? You're a _lot_ to deal with but that's _definitely_ part of _luuvvvv."_ Their eyes were shooting daggers at each other.

" _I'mgonnastrangleyouwhenyousleep_." She murmurs behind a feigned giddy laugh, booping his nose. 

" _Thatsifyoudontgetmefirst_." He confidently places a hand on her cheek, causing her to widen her eyes in fury but he knows she can't gnaw him. 

The parents remain oblivious, their eyes filled with such adoration, "Ah, the thrill of young love! Treasure its beauty before you wake up one day barking at each other to watch your cholesterol and joints" Carla shoots a glare at her husband who sheepishly fiddles with his fork.

Eren and Mikasa then join hands on the table, and as obvious from his tight grip and how she'd form dents on her skin with her nail - they definitely did _not_ want to strangle each other. 

\----

"They're right over there, Eren!"

Mikasa points towards a familiar group amongst the bleachers. The five kids earlier all beam at their sight, some waving their arms eagerly like a bunch of aircraft marshallers. They also spot Zeke and Pieck as well as Zee-Zee on his shoulders; it was their turn to chaperone the children and entertaining them with the resort's marine show was a way to do it. With nothing really much to do around, Mikasa and Eren decided to tag along. Once again, the young boys painted their cheeks red while trying to feed their crushes a share of their snacks, and Udo rambles (unknowingly to himself) about the brochure on his hand. Zee-Zee was definitely one hell of a conversation starter; some assuming he was part of the act (even though it _clearly_ says _Sea_ _Show_ on the entrance).

To pass more time, Zeke shares pictures of him and Eren in their awkward years. Eren hid his red face through his palm - it was unfair, it was mostly his pics but then again, Zeke had the upper hand to his own phone. Mikasa notes that he hit an ultimate growth spurt - he was scrawny, with bunny teeth, and sported a mop of shaggy hair that was the trend of the time. He looked pretty small next to his brother, touching his eyebrows at fifteen but now a few centimeters taller than him in his late twenties. Assuming from the wacky captures, he was a very jolly kid - the same Eren she knows now. Around 17-20 years old however, there was something on his eyes she can't exactly pinpoint that was a bit off putting.

Mikasa shrugs it off when they were blessed with a pièce de résistance: a video that Zeke recorded from a laptop, revealing Eren's tenth grade project with his friends. There was Annie and Armin that she'd met when she and Eren were on duty, and Reiner who she doesn't recognize. Armin looked just as small as Eren and Annie rocked pink highlights. The footage had outlandish effects and fonts topped with early 2000's music, enticing nostalgic giggles and sparked a duet from the brothers. Then out comes Eren making an appearance as a distressed mother, stuffing pillows in what seems like Carla's blouse, while sporting an unkempt wig. Pieck and Mikasa threw their heads back in a fit of laughter, with Eren scowling at his brother whose shoulders were cheekily shaking. There was also snippets of the behind the scenes: Zeke being an overly demanding director making an appearance with his arm, Reiner cursing when he'd forget his lines, the blonde couple caught flirting on a couch, and Eren belting out Fergalicious onto the camera with the three as backup dancers (until Carla's voice could be heard, setting him into panic because his face was covered in her makeup). 

Just in time that Zeke's Show-and-Tell was over, the emcee began speaking onto the mic and all heads whip at the colossal pool in front of them. The sudden booming music causes them to jolt slightly in their seats. The children's eyes twinkle in anticipation, excitement transcending at the first act with a walrus named 'Jojo'. He waved, danced, did a handstand, and did a set of pushups enticing a woo and a couple of hearty laughs. He proudly gnaws the fish thrown at his mouth then would clap his flippers. The emcee would then explain history and facts that everyone overlooks except Udo, of course. 

The next act involved two sea lions named Chip and Dale that Pieck admits were a bit more entertaining than Jojo. There was an interactive skit, the sea lions dramatically whipping their heads around in either elation or despondency depending on the scenarios presented by the divers. The kids giggle at how the glide across the deck before diving, Gabi beaming about how they should try doing it on the pool somewhere - Zeke interjecting that it's not a great idea or they'll crack their heads open (Pieck barking that the precaution should be said a little less harshly). Chip and Dale would show more tricks using a couple of props - the volleyballs being the highlight that they'd balance with their snout while clapping. A couple of handstands, more tricks, and "wowwws' later, they bid adieu on to their exit gate.

Then the penguins made a short appearance to advertise next week's show. The brothers mock Mikasa and Pieck for cooing too loudly at the way they waddled; a terrible mistake because their arms were now bruised. The kids were also disappointed with the brothers who were cracking terrible penguin puns no one would laugh at but only them. 

As a finale, six dolphins and their trainers take the stage, beginning with a short introduction of Coco, Flipper, Finn, Azula, Marina, and Delphine. 'Woah's' and claps were more prevalent in this act, with the dolphins shooting themselves upwards from the water, flipping and twisting in synchronicity with each other. A lot of people were in awe with their dynamic with the trainers, the kids of course, all washed up in such envy yet inspiration. They would click and whistle louder at the sound of the audience praising them - even the monkey seems to enjoy their performance. 

The performer then raises her hand up calling for volunteers to feed and pet the dolphins - Eren and Zeke boosting from their seats before the five kids can. They frantically waved their arms, their deep howling definitely differentiating them from the tiny squeals among the younger audiences. Mikasa ducks her head down and laughs awkwardly sensing that a few heads turned they way, but Pieck in such full support of her fiancé and her brother-in-law, was clapping alongside with them. Spotting their enthusiasm, the emcee calls the brothers, howling excited 'woohs' like kids scoring an entire roll of tickets in arcade. Oh god, they should've seen the faces of Gabi, Isabel, Udo, Falco, and Farlan - all the enjoyment from their faces drained to shreds. After petting and a few fish bait tosses to Azula and Marina later, the brothers were instructed to pose for a picture, but unbeknownst to them it was a plot for the other dolphins to give them a _surprise_.

"Cheese!"

**_SPLASH!_ **

The brothers were drenched in pool water, both closing their eyes and realizing hindsight that they should've left this to the kids - causing quite a happy uproar from the audience and the giggling dolphins behind them. They let out belly laughs, Eren brushing his bangs away and Zeke carefully peeling his glasses away. From their seats, erupted laughters from their girls, a happy monkey, and importantly, the five kids who were extremely satisfied with their karma. 

\-----

The sun began making its way down to meet horizon and the shore was washed up with a beautiful orange tint. Eren and Mikasa strolled along the wet sand while carrying their sandals, laughing as he tells her anecdotes of the pictures Zeke showed them. There was still quite a handful of people entering the water that they'd periodically dodge, but they were pretty much stuck in their own bubble with ached stomachs. They eventually passed by an open karaoke bar blasting 'Total Eclipse of the Heart', and instinctively, they sang along - Eren taking Bonnie's part and Mikasa taking Jim's. 

_"...turn aroundddddd... brighttttt eyesss_ _."_

 _"Every now and then I fall apartttttt_ _."_

And then they belted out together _, "HEEEEEEEND I NEED 'YAA NOW TO NIGHTT! (woo!) HEEND I NEED 'YA MOREE THAN EVER-"_

 _"AND IF YOU ONLYYY HOLD ME TIGHT-_ Miks why aren't you singing along?"

"That's the only part I know." Cue the bursts of laughter, much to Mikasa's embarrassment. 

"Anyway, you wanna sit down for awhile? I kinda feel tired walking around."

"Sure."

When they found a clean spot on the sand, they propped themselves down. With the hushing shore sung the seagulls and laughter of people playing volleyball a few feet from them. Eren notices that Mikasa was smiling as she watches the horizon, which he admits to himself is infectious. He pulls out his phone, and taps her shoulder. 

"Speaking of pictures awhile ago, don't you think its a great idea if we take one?" 

She raises a brow, "Oh, I thought this would be a moment you'd dread to remember when we come back."

"Well, same goes to the video of me wearing Mama's stuff." They both laugh. "But I guess its a great reminder that we did have fun - hell, we can possibly make fun of each other."

She hums, "You're right." She stares off again, plastering the peaceful smile on her face again-

Click!

"Hey! You didn't tell me- Let me see!"

"You look fine- you'll delete it!"

"Eren, I wasn't prepared."

"Fine, don't delete it though." He rolls his eyes and reveals the picture. As expected, she winces. 

"I look so ugly!"

"Glad you know that- ah!" His arm was bruised once again. Mikasa laughs as he rubs the spot. "Maybe we should take one together and call it even, so we can both be ugly."

She chuckles, "If you say so."

Eren props his phone against their sandals that they used as an impromptu tripod, running back and forth to catch up with the timer. They started off with the typical awkward vacation poses, then eventually cascading into wacky ones that mostly captured their genuine moment of enjoyment. Mikasa suddenly launched herself on Eren's back; he wasn't able to gain his balance, both of them plopping down the sand. 

After the photo session, they reviewed the aftermath, throwing Mikasa in a fit of giggles that tickled Eren's chest. He decided to change his lock screen - the photo capturing the exact frame of them mid fall, and he bets that anyone else seeing the picture could hear their laughter. 

"Send me the photos too! I wanna change my lock screen - making this fake couple shit much more realer, you know." Mikasa uses the same photo as Eren despite taking quite some time to browse through. 

With thirst lingering in their mouths, they decided to grab coconut drinks by a kiosk and continued to pace around the beach again. Seeing that there was a large ship honking and a few jet skis zooming by, Eren decides to snap photos - for no reason, he was just amused.

Mikasa however, feels a strong nudge, causing her to clumsily drop her coconut on the sand. Scowling, she picks up and dusts the sides. "Hey, watch where you're... going."

As she tries to spot the culprit, she freezes. Amongst the passing crowd, a silhouette disappears deeper into the stalls and people. She doesn't know who it is nor she exactly captured the person's appearance but it looked like someone of an average yet a familiar frame. And suddenly something inside her tells her something's... not exactly sitting right with her. She glances at Eren who draws a look of concern but she decides to shrugs it off - maybe she was just tired from the activities of the long day that she was seeing things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, when I tell you 138 was a ride, IT WAS A RIDE - for being an EreMika fan for 7 years it was a lot for me. I shouldn't be this affected but I cried my dumbass to sleep. Anyway, I just write to eschew the fact that canon events are painful - so here a happy chapter, lolol.  
> Also:  
> \- Sasha, as I recall had an accent, and I noticed that her dad used a lot of contractions and idk if I executed it well  
> \- I gave up trying to go back and edit, if there are errors im sorry, I really wanted to move on and write the new chapter  
> -
> 
> Anyway, thank you so much for tuning in and taking your time to read. Stay safe and take care xx


	5. Monkey Business

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have no idea how parties work its sad

While Eren was off fulfilling his best man duties, Mikasa found herself wincing and curling her toes with a masseuse denting palms on her back. Pieck decided on a calm spa treat before she herself would be surprised by some 'wild crap' in the evening (and much to Mikasa's protest, they kept insisting that she joins them). The women chit-chatted and fawned mostly about the wedding and reminisced the first time they met Pieck - a shy girl Zeke brought over for Thanksgiving with a box of Sachertorte in her hands. Mikasa tried to tune in and comment as much as she could, but her pained groaning overpowered no matter how much she tried to resist; she hasn't realized how fucked up her back was until now. Her back was likely weaker than the 80 year old's who rambled on without a single groan, and even hurled a lotion bottle at Faye to halt her from flirting with a male masseuse - _You're not here to find husband number four._

And the massage wasn't even the worst part - the pedicure was. She doesn't understand why spas are dubbed as relaxing when she's resisting the willpower to kick the pedicurist with her foot. She squirms in her seat and grips on the rests like her life depended on it - a ticklish person's worse nightmare coming to life. 

"Miss, you okay?" The pedicurist shoots her head up and Mikasa waves her arms around.

"Yeah! Yeah! All good!" Her voice was cracking.

"We're pretty much done and I'll just let your feet soak for a bit. Then we'll move on to the color."

"Okay and... I'm sorry..."

"It happens, as long you didn't kick me." _You have no idea_. A couple of giggles erupted from the four ladies and their pedicurists, and she sheepishly rubs her neck. 

They retracted on the conversation about Zeke and Pieck in adoration. Especially Pieck who had stars all over her eyes; ten years of being head over heels on each other and it was finally sealed off with wedding bells. Out of the blue, the conversation about the betrothed couple transitioned to Eren and Mikasa that instantly reminded her of the actual crap she has to deal with. She laid out a mental deck of notes and would pull a card that corresponded to their flinging questions. 

"...Well, Eren took me out on a restaurant on Valentine's Day and I guess from there we decided to make it official... A typical candle lit dinner..." Pfft, the theoretical restaurant? Pixis' - nowhere close to 'fancy' but a crammed establishment hidden in a cul-de-sac, where they'd pig out like the sky could fall anytime. They coo in such fondness; Mikasa feeling her cheeks heat up out of shyness and definitely guilt. 

Eventually the questions die out with Carla letting out a loud sigh and cranes her neck towards Mikasa. "Mikasa, honey..."

"Hm? Mrs. Yeager?"

"Thank you." Her genuine smile caused her to reciprocate it even without understanding the cause. "Well for making Eren happy and I think in return he makes you happy too. And... I'm - I'm just really thankful and really glad."

She simply hums and nods as a response to Carla, tongue held at a loss of appropriate words to say. But she's right - they make each other happy but not in that way. A simple text of 'bad day' would cause them to pop up by each other's desk or doors with coffee or takeout. When she'd feel apprehensive he'd soothe her with hilarious anecdotes; when his jolly smile flattened into a dull one, she'd browse through a playlist she made for him so they could belt out songs together. Being close friends that is, you just read each other easily like a favorite book.

"I know! Our Eren is blooming! It's refreshing- oh dear, I'm sorry I changed my mind, switch it to this color please." Faye shows the pale pink polish bottle to the pedicurist.

"It is!" Nana sighs, "Considering the hell he went through."

Mikasa's brows furrowed. "Hell?"

"I'm pretty sure you heard about Historia, hm?" Pieck slightly tilts her head. "The _history_?"

"Historia?" Mikasa flutters her eyes. Out of all the sticky notes Eren wrote and all the little stories he'd throw, Historia was never mentioned (and maybe its a little too late to giggle at Pieck's pun). "Ah, yes... He... talked about her to me like once but I still don't know much." She lies; maybe in this way she can stick her nose in.

"...well he was a young'un at that time and sometimes, you do things out of 'love' without ever realizing that it's not right, you know?" 

"Causing his parents trouble for several years is 'love' to you!?" And Mikasa's ears were twitching. 

"No, of course not, Mama! I'm just saying he wouldn't do all those things if it weren't for that girl! For Pete's sake he was a walking puppet; how ruthless are you to tell him to go-"

A croak of a throat and all heads whip to Carla who failed to hide her discomfort behind her smile. "Ma, Faye, please. It's been... years and I don't think we should really revisit it, hm? Well, our Eren's doing so many great things now. He was really young, like you said, and now I know he learned a lot... We make mistakes too... And for Historia, maybe she did change, maybe she did learn a thing or two as well... They're all almost thirty anyway."

"Sorry, Carla..." "Sorry, love..."

"It's okay." Her smile was now full of solace. "I understand... Besides, he looks very happy with Mikasa right now!" 

"Awh, of course he is!"

Mikasa sheepishly grins and nods at them, before finding herself staring blankly at the bubbles fizzing at around her feet. It was still a bit vague, but it was enough to have some sort of understanding that Historia bears quite a significance to his past. Assuming from some of the pictures Zeke showed her yesterday, it somewhat gave her answers of why his eyes weren't full of life unlike now. And with Carla, her stratagem of hurling dates was likely an attempt to find someone that can make Eren 'happier'. There's still gaps but Mikasa decided that it was best not to duck her head inside the holes; there's a reason why Eren has never revealed Historia to her and she respects that boundary. 

She decides to check the time on her phone and when spotting the lock screen she changed yesterday, she softly smiles. If he was ever ready to open up about such things, her ears were definitely open. She feels a slight nudge from Pieck and they both carry on the conversation about a common interest they discovered earlier. 

* * *

"Eren! You fucking nailed it!"

There's many ways that Zeke could portray gratitude but vigorously patting his back is not one that Eren hoped; he was pretty much clenching his asshole to resist blows of violent coughs - holy shit. In a way, he was proud of his last minute effort and it seemed to work in his favor. Besides, his brother is an easy man to satisfy: a empty bar, a couple of instruments to jam out with, and a shit ton of booze enough to fill two Olympic-sized pools (a couple of mary janes would've really kicked everything to the top but the hotel staff winced in disgust - 'absolutely not, sir'). Eren gives the honor of pressing the button for the disco lights to Zee-Zee, and the minute the beams shoot out rays, Zeke's face lit up like a sweet tooth in Sugar Mountain. He howls, dipping his toes to the stage with instruments; the setting is reminiscent to his band gigs back in his reckless days.

Despite being quite an extrovert, Zeke's circle of groomsmen was limited to childhood and high school friends.. and a monkey. Armin and Annie of course left some seats open, causing him to shake his head at the thought of their absence, "They literally decided to fuck nine months before the wedding, huh? Seriously! They're missing out!" 

Eren feels a nudge, whipping his head towards Reiner, "Not a babe here tonight? Really? You suck being a best man - Zeke's just obligated because you're brothers."

"C'mon! You can't really go by a day without thinking about getting your dick sucked!?"

"Naw, naw, naw, not like that! But it be nice to have a babe or two you know - aren't you supposed to wild out or shit in bachelor's?"

"Yeah, wildin' out, but without the expense of hurting my fiancée." Zeke smiles sarcastically. "My lovely Piecky's enough, thank you very much."

"He's engaged not freshly divorced." Porco rolls his eyes. "That's you, Reiner."

They all chucked as a response to his face dropping into ennui. Porco casually shrugs his shoulders before cracking a can open and pressing it on his lips.

"Well he likely got blue balled by his doll last night."

"Marcel!" More laughter erupted.

Eren pats his back. "There, there."

"Don't touch me." 

"C'mahhnnnn, we'll still have a fun time catching up and jamming and shit - besides, there's still the wedding and who knows if you spot some babe or guy?" He winks, the buff man rolling his eyes and groaning. 

"You're full of crap, bunny teeth." Eren chuckles at the mention of his childhood nickname. 

Out of the blue, the door behind them cracks open and momentarily shoots out a small beam of light against the dim room. They all whip their heads to Bertholdt, stepping in with a hint of apprehension by the way he awkwardly closed the door behind him. "Sorry, got lost. I walked in to a wrong room."

Eren swears Reiner's eyes were filled with all colors the world could ever paint with. 

"Well, speak of the devil. A colorful devil." He smirks, but its likely that he didn't pay attention at all, judging by how his neck stiffened and how his mouth was half agape at his sight. 

-

Meanwhile... Mikasa felt like a fish out of water in the bachelorette's. She feels bad; Pieck was likely obligated to invite her but then again, she genuinely insisted like earlier for the spa. She'd awkwardly laugh along, carrying the weight of being a double impostor amidst the circle of bridesmaids on her shoulders.

Pieck remained pretty tranquil - quite the contrary of most brides in their parties. As her bridesmaids were drowning themselves and belting onto the mics to the point that their veins were peaking through their pink skin, she placidly sat akin to a formal tea party guest. Her maid of honor, Yelena, matched her energy except she bore a flat mouth instead of a soft curve like Pieck's. Mikasa ruled out the verdict that she had a terminal case of RBF, since Yelena would surprisingly crack jokes as if she had a hat packed with notes beside her.

After a couple of internal dithering, Mikasa decided to snatch a beer and take heedful sips. Usually when there was alcohol in front of her she would instantly dunk the bottle in one sitting but Sasha's precaution two days ago instilled some paranoia. It was one way to wash out her discomfiture while observing Pieck and Yelena occasionally let out belly laughs at their friends.

"As you can tell, we two like to keep it under the radar." Pieck leans in, hoping that her voice dominated against the blaring speakers.

"And that's how I'm the maid of honor." Yelena winks and it enticed chortles from the two ravenettes. 

-

"Everyone! THANK YOU, THANK YOU FOR COMINGG! Please come to my next SHOWWWW!" 

"YOU FUCKING SUCK!"

The room became an alcoholic magma, awaiting for a Vesuvius-like chaos to erupt. Faces were starting to appear hues of crimson, cackles became much more louder, and words slurred into cryptic languages. The wooden floor began forming streams and puddles as empty bottles, cans, and glasses roll lazily at their feet. 

The odd one out? The best man, of course. Sure, Eren has the liberty to canon ball himself among the sea of wasted company, but it was best to be the lifeguard. It was best if there was at least one person remaining sane throughout the night; making sure that everyone walks out with their shirts intact and both shoes on their feet, and importantly, no skulls cracking open like coconut shells. He at the same time needed to chaperone an actual monkey and fortunately, Zee-Zee remained docile, adorably sitting on the little booster seat while being entertained by an empty bottle he'd roll side to side. 

Zeke begins strumming on the guitar again, gently bobbing his head in a slow beat with the drums picking up behind him. Despite barely opening his eyes, muscle memory travelled his fingers on the fret into a steady tempo. It was Porco's turn to sing, groggily flipping through the music book for the lyrics although Eren's highly convinced he'll barely utter the words right. And so he began singing like baby trying to figure out what their first words would be - Eren of course, wincing and being the only one aware amongst his friends who nodded and waved their arms along. If it weren't for the band, he wouldn't even have figured that he was murmuring 'Somebody to Love'. 

"Eren, y'ain't drinking, brother?" Marcel tries to give him a glass, in which he shakes his head and gently pushes it away.

"Naw, taking one for the team and watching all of you."

"Awh, you're no fun. Just one wouldn't hurt - for our Zeke's graduatiooonnn." He further pushes it towards him. 

He sighs, "Fine. Only one. Only one." He downs the drinks in one gulp, wincing and releasing a loud 'ah!', and smacks the empty aftermath on the table. 

Marcel gives him a congratulatory pat. "Thereeeee you gooo." 

He clears his throat, sloshing away the burn and wipes his lip. "Okay, okay that's enough!"

Marcel chuckles before resuming to divert his attention towards the stage. So far despite the clear signs of intoxication in the room, Reiner hasn't ripped out his shirt... yet. **But** , he's obviously making moves towards Bertholdt; surprisingly, he seems to reciprocate his flirtatious advances too. 

So far they were climbing on their way to phase 7 out of 10 just yet, and since everyone is still affixed to their seats, Eren still has some time to bask in the glory of docility and peace.

He checks his phone that revealed his photo with Mikasa, suddenly reminding him that she was on the other circle. He begins to wonder how she's doing, if either she's enjoying or sitting awkwardly - likely the second case since she's only a party fish if she's placed in the right waters. 

-

"PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER!"

"I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY'D HE'D LEAVE ME!!! I GAVE EVERYTHING TO HIM!!!"

Seeing everything unravel into wailing contest, Yelena had to step in to at least prevent one of them from throwing up on the karaoke machine. Mikasa twiddled her fingers around her ruby ring on her middle finger out of unease, the other hand forming circles with the drink sloshing inside. Well, the supposed joyous night ended up being one hell of a break up playlist sing-off. Apparently two of the girls were fresh from ending relationships and of course, alcohol was gonna vomit out such heartaches. 

She glances at Pieck who seems to be extremely pleased at the faux pas that unfolded, throwing her head back or ducking when cackling. But Mikasa notices the same odd behavior she displayed during the first dinner. With alcohol on her hands, she'd pretend to press the glass on her lips and when her coast was clear, she'd stealthily dump it. Last time, it was on the sand where she'd use her feet to cover her crime up, and this time, she'd water the plant glued to the crevice beside her. No one seems to catch on to her ploy, except Mikasa of course - totally none of her business but what was the point? It was the forth cycle already and the plant began to appear more shriveled.

She raises her brows to shrug it off, then shoots her eyes towards her phone sparking a beam - _Yeager_.

**psst how u doing miks**

Surveying the area for a while - which rippled into a bigger mess with Yelena dragging a girl up and the other hunched over a garbage bin, she sucks her teeth then bows her head to respond,

**im sober**

**pieck has wild friends lol**

**hbu**

**\--**

'... CANNN ANYYBODYYY FIND mEEeeEEEEEEEEEEEE- EVERYBODYY SING IT WITH ME!"

'SomEEEBOADDDDDY TO LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOUVEEEEE!!!''

Ping! "Oh." Eren quickly opens his phone and smirks while responding. 

**im sober too** **🤧**

**chaperone but im still having fun**

**what happened over there**

**\--**

Mikasa bites her lip at the agonizing ejecta sounding louder than last time, to the point that she could feel her stomach turn too. Another girl was on the mic, crying out a song in such off key. Oh God.

**one girls fucked up i think shes close to fuckign dying**

**actually my ears died first**

**honestly as long as im conscious n not cracking my head open i could care less**

**but holy shit theyre fucked up, fucked up**

**its not the fun type of fucked up like the squad its pathetic**

**-**

Eren chuckles then glances at the stage for a bit. Porco had ended his sequence and now it was Marcel's turn. 

**[yeager] so ur the chaperone too?**

**[acherman] not my job. the maid of honor is. shes dragging the chicks back to their seats**

**[yeager] yelena?**

**[acherman] yeah. has one hell of an rbf but shes actually funny as fuck**

**[yeager] yeah shes chill and lmao u know thats zekes ex?**

-

Mikasa's eyes pop out of her sockets and realizing that she was swimming in a shark tank, she presses the screen closer to her face.

 **[acherman] 😳 really!? wait did you tell me this before i dont think so** ****

**[yeager] no i didnt, they only dated for one month tho**

**[acherman] wait but pieck made her maid of honor?**

**[yeager] childhood friends i think 🤷♂️**

**[acherman] make sense, zeke awkward about it?**

**[yeager] i dont think so. one month dating in colleges pretty void. and also i think pieck met zeke through her in the band fest thing i told u**

**[acherman] oohhh fair and** **im actually bored**

**[yeager] saltwater fish in freshwater huh**

**[acherman] im not a salmon like you are**

**[yeager] its ok youll make it out fine just stay sober lol 👍**

Mikasa chuckles, then glances at Pieck who seems to be observing her this entire time. She flutters her eyes in shame, realizing that she might have presented a negative impression as a guest through excluding herself out. "Oh... Uhm-"

"Talking to Eren? No worries." She winks, which instantly brought relief.

"O-oh, just... him giving updates. He's the only one sober." Mikasa sheepishly smiles.

Pieck raises her brows, "I'm surprised - well, I don't think its a great idea if he and his brother are both drunk. They kindaaaa..." She sucks her teeth. "...get too, too crazy together. Well I'd say on Zeke's part, too creative."

"Crazy? Creative?" She furrows her brows.

"Let's saaayyy..." Pieck squints her tired eyes and scrunches her nose. "....Zeke drew a Bob Ross painting on Eren's bare ass once. Took a fucking whole week to take it off - Sharpie."

Mikasa's eyes and mouth both pop open, "You're kidding."

"Mhm, you heard it right" They both ripped into laughter, Pieck enjoying Mikasa's face as she places both of her hands on her mouth in disbelief.

-

For a few minutes, Mikasa hasn't responded yet and to fill the gaps, Eren decides to jam along the band. Zeke was heightening his drunken climax - glasses tossed away, one foot on the stool, and arching his back with the guitar and his head shooting upwards the ceiling. Drums? Definitely shaking the walls of the bar and the drummer nailing the rolls. Reiner? All drenched in sweat and alcohol with the mic to his lips, but so far, shirt's on. Bertholdt? Stars and hearts all over his eyes at the terrible vocalist. Everyone else? Barking and howling like wolves at the sight of a full moon when he finally ended his performance.

Eren then notices his bright phone standing out in the darkness.

**[acherman] lmao did someone draw on ur ass yet?**

"Draw on my ass? What does-"

**[acherman] pieck told me lol**

He rubs his eyes and sighs. 

**[yeager] what the fuck**

**[acherman] now i know why you remained sober**

**[yeager] thats not the reason. i need to keep an eye out zeke hes usually crazy when drunk**

**[acherman] fair. theres no pictures fortunately i wouldve been traumatized seeing ur bare ass cheeks**

He chuckles, shaking his head.

**[yeager] my ass do be shiny n thicc tho. its very sexy miks you might wanna smack it. wanna see it later 😉**

**[acherman]** **🖕**

"YEO, DING DONG!"

Eren's head shoots up towards the stage, an obviously disoriented Zeke wobbling and pointing at him with his mouth hogging the mic. "Off 'ya fucking phone!!! 'Ya shitting on my party."

"I'm not shitting on your party - I'm birdwatching."

"C'me here! Take ov'r this dumb ass guitar - I wanna fucking sing."

Eren kisses his teeth, "Can't you do both?"

"I wanna give a world class performance, you bunny teethed dipshit. I wanna show 'em I got the fucking rad ass moves like Jagger - I'm making it _Yeager_." 

More like a code word for disaster. But the howling and cheering boomed to the point that he swears his eardrums have been ruptured. He winces, flagging his arms down in submission. "Okay, okay! Fine! Hold on!"

[ **yeager] hey miks brb**

**[acherman] k**

**seen**

-

"Mikasa you should sing." Yelena returns to her seat as she wipes off remnants of the chaos from her polo shirt. The storm had fortunately calmed down with the two girls asleep: one laying supine on the couch and the other, prone against the hard floor just below her.

"Ah, its okay." Mikasa shyly shakes her head, while waving her free hand. "I'm good."

"C'mon! We haven't heard from you yet." Pieck pats her shoulders, "Don't be a shy kitty cat! Hannah, pass the mic to Mikasa!" 

"No it's okay I-I don't sing- _oh_."

"Girlieeeeee, singg!!!!!"

She definitely can't back out; out of her volition, Hannah had already placed the mic on her hands, cheekily giggling. Her face and body was covered in ginger tint like her hair, and from the way her lips were asymmetrically stretched, she was completely fucked up. 

"Whaddaya wanna sing? Ya want to cry your heart out? Men being shit and all?"

"She's happily taken and dearly loved, sweetheart." Pieck winks at the shy Mikasa skittishly.

"Awh, yer a happy soul..."

"I don't know. What's something you recommend?" 

Hannah smirks and waddles confidently to the machine. "How 'bout some Whitney Houston for 'ya?"

Mikasa blinks and observes her press a couple of buttons. After a few seconds the screen displayed the title card and the beat boomed from the speakers.

"I Wanna... Dance with Somebody...?"

With the upbeat tempo that contradicted her timidity, she's debating whether or not she should take Sasha's advice and drown herself in four shots. But, seeing the possible repercussions through the form of the two knocked out chicks, well, it was best to take the knife up her ass without the anesthesia. She clears her throat first as if it was her silent prayer pleading for grace.

"... _Clock strikes upon the hour and the sun begins to faaade-"_

"WOOOOOOOOOHHHHH!!!!! THAT'S OUR GIRL!!!"

\----

Skid Row, Zeke, and alcohol? A deadly but thrilling combination.

_" **OOOOOOOOOHHHHH THE PAIIINNNNNNN!!!!!**_

_I ain't seen the sun since I don't know when_

_the freaks come out at nine_

_And it's twenty to ten_

_What's this funk_

_That you call junk -_

_To me it's just monkey busineeeesss_

**_Get back!"_ **

"FUCK YEAH THAT'S IT!"

Although he wasn't the best at guitar like his brother, it seemed to be enough for Zeke to be able to follow along. Bopping his head with the band, Eren peruses the warzone that unfolded: The Galliard brothers? Surprisingly awake but Marcel's clinging on to his dear life, spilling his weak guts out on a can as his brother pats his back - more like waiting for his turn to plunge himself inside it. Reiner? _Oh shit_ , shirt's now off and Bertholdt is smothering his lips with passionate kisses (as expected, but _holy fucking shit put the tongues back where it should be-fucking-long)_. The rest? Completely hammered and words slurring into different and undiscernible phonetics that Eren doesn't bother decoding. At this point, Zeke is the only person he's responsible for.

In lieu of 'Monkey Business', Zeke carried Zee-Zee in his arms and would periodically raise him by his torso akin to Rafiki marking Simba's birth. Eren knows they definitely reached phase 10 and after this song, the festivities needed to halt or else Reiner might start unzipping his pants. A cacophonic crash of metal and grunting could be heard; Marcel wiping off the residue of his puke and Porco flat on his face beside the can. He turns to Z- 

"Zeke!?" Eren continues to strum along to maintain the song's integrity while searching for his brother who for an unknown reason, disappeared from his sight. "EZEKIEL!"

There it was - the blonde son of a bitch hopping on tables like floating stones on a mystical lake, failing his arms around. He was clearly seizing the moment and reliving his retired concert days. Eren mutters a despondent 'oh no', spotting that the mic's cord trailed behind him and the potential danger of him slipping on the wet tables.

"YEO EZEKIEL COME BACK HERE!" He then turns to the drummer to cue a pause but his eyes were closed and he was submerge too deeply with his beat. The next thing he sees is his brother slowly spreading his arms open like an eagle preparing itself for a long flight, heightening Eren's panic. "ZEKE GET YOUR ASS DOWN!"

"STAGE DIVE!"

"NO DON'T YOU FUCKING DO-"

-

_"-OOOOOOOOOOOOOHH I WANNA DANCE WITH SOMEBODY!"_

It took a few lines to crack her into dancing along with the girls and Mikasa admits that she's enjoying herself. They clapped and sung in synchronicity with her, giving her consolation that she hasn't ripped someone's ear drums to irreparable shreds. Pieck began contradicting the nature she displayed earlier by being up on her feet and also grooving along - it also seemed like she wanted to share the mic too. Mikasa would periodically stare at the screen, the sleeping girls, and her phone. All still of the same status respectively: displaying flashing lyrics, signs of alcoholic coma, and no new updates from...

_Eren's calling?_

* * *

Eren sighs heavily before taking a secondary sip on his soda while his ears and eyes adjusted to the silence and brightness of the waiting room. Despite his efforts, everything still cascaded into a Pompeii aftermath - an unescapable fate, if you will. There are two things Zeke broke - a couple glasses from his loud shrieking and (very possibly) his arm that became immobilized.

" **Oh my fucking god!"**

He whips his head towards the familiar cry that was accompanied with stomps and casual steps behind it. Pieck's face was painted in such anguish while Mikasa and Yelena followed behind with looks of concern. Eren drags himself up groggily, carrying the weight of failure. "Pieck I-"

"What the hell happened!? Weren't you chaperoning!?" With her bark her voice was cracking, catching the attention of a few noses in the hall. "What the hell happened to Zeke!?"

He prepares himself, "He tried to do a stage dive..." She snaps her eyes shut and began pacing frantically while uttering curses. "... I tried to catch him but he was a few feet away and even with Heely's on, I wouldn't be able to save him on time."

"WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO HIM NOW!?" The sudden outburst took him by surprise. Sure, her concern about Zeke is expected but Pieck usually remained reposeful when it came to stress and pressure. Even with a truck aiming to hit her, she'd placidly take a step back as if it were a breeze. But now, her eyes became watery, accompanied by her pale cheeks turning into a gradient of frustrated red and her fingers were shaking. "IS HE OKAY? IS HE-"

Eren gently places his hands on her shoulder, "Hey, hey, it's gonna be okay let's be calm-"

"CALM!? YOU WANT ME TO BE FUCKING CALM!?" Now some passersby were concerned and he shoots a startled look at Mikasa and Yelena.

"Okay Pieck, let's simmer down a bit, okay?" Yelena steps in and guides her to a seat, hoping to bring relief. She too seemed to be taken aback at her sudden outburst. Eren plops himself beside her but remains mindful through leaving a gap of a seat away.

"I don't think anything grave happened, he's gonna be okay."

All their heads shoot up like deer at the face of headlights when the door clicked opened, with Eren and Pieck standing up instinctively. "Any direct family members of Mr. Yeager?" The doctor fixes his glasses and shoves his arms in his pockets.

"Yes doc, I'm the brother, she's the fia- wife." He rubs her back while she folds her arms together and bites her nails.

-

There was Zeke, dozing off like baby after a long meal. Even when sleeping, he still showed obvious signs of intoxication through his ached groaning. Pieck darts to side, kissing her teeth at the sight of the cast wrapped around his wrist. Fortunately he only tore a tendon but a couple of scans might be necessary, just in case he might've gained a fracture.

"Eren, thanks so much." Pieck shoots him a warm smile while holding on to Zeke's free arm.

"You don't gotta. That rat bastard's my brother." A couple of chuckles erupted.

Pieck glances at him and Mikasa who both stood adjacently in front of her. "I think Yelena and I are fine watching him. You guys should go rest - especially you Eren. You've dealt a lot today."

* * *

"Well, there goes the night out the window."

"To be fair, the two chicks might need a trip tp the ER too."

Mikasa and Eren both chuckled. As instructed by Pieck, they resumed to the resort. Agreeing that sitting lazily on the couch wasn't their best interest, a stroll by shore was an idea to kill off time until they cracked into yawns. Besides, their sobriety reserved their vim and energy, keeping their eyes wide open. The beach was dark, of course, but with it bloomed beautiful stars they saw like the first night. Their surroundings were also illuminated by pale signs, torches, and string lights that brought life into the continuing festivities of the after-midnight. Mikasa counted that they passed by four bonfires already, huddled by peaceful friends or a sing-off with a guitar that brought smiles to her and Eren.

They exchanged further details in the respective events they attended to; Mikasa bursting into a fit of laughter and Eren shaking his head as a reaction. Quite a mess they ended up, happily, escaped from but with an expense of an incident as their exit ticket. In the midst of their anecdotes, booming music caught their attention. There stood an open bar with a flair bartender hurling bottles as part of his tricks that enticed applauses, and adjacent to it was a handful of people wobbling and awkwardly dancing.

"Wanna go see?"

She hums hesitantly, "Are we gonna get hammered?" 

"If you want to. But for me, I'll have to pass. I just wanna check the bar around."

"Oh." Just as Sasha's precaution was ringing in her ears, it died down into relief. "Same, I wont drink - well if there's something light I'll give it a shot. I don't want to end up dead like those girls."

"Coolio Julio, sounds good."

They spot a couple of free seats amidst the zombie-like patrons and when they settled, they shuffled around because of its height. Eren peruses the scene for awhile and faces Mikasa while sighing, "God, what a night."

"Ugh! I knoww!"

"Is there anything you'd like, ma'am, sir?" The duo whip their heads towards the blonde bartender, wiping a glass and stacking it on top of another. A couple of feet from him was the one they spotted from afar earlier, now pouring a row of drinks that aroused amusement. 

"Hm... What do you want, Miks?"

She sucks her teeth, "Uh, I'll be basic - Pina Colada?"

"Okay, and uhmmm..." He sucks his teeth. "Well, I'll have what she's having - make it two."

"Coming right up."

They nod gratuitously and faced each other once again, and as Mikasa pops her mouth open to say something-

"Eren? Is that you!?"

At the sound of the unfamiliar calling they furrow their brows and turn towards it. Mikasa's perplexity heightened, seeing Eren's eyeballs on the verge of shooting out from its sockets - and it didn't look like a pleasant reaction at all.

"His.. Historia?"

Mikasa's eyes pop right out too. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is gonna be a long ass ramble because I don't know how to shut up but:  
> \- I'm still confused on how to navigate this story and I'm sorry for taking forever. I was debating on deleting this story and starting something else but then I might've been too hard on myself, topped with being stressed out with personal stuff. So, if there are things I overlook in the newer chapters that I may have missed, dont hesitate to let me know!  
> \- The first few chapters, to be honest, I'm iffy about but I guess each chapter is a stepping stone for me. I'm doing my best to be much more succinct and concise but I feel like the past chapters were a lot of rambles. There are so many errors in the previous chapter, I apologize! Such as grammar and unintentional repetition of phrases/words, even misspelling Furlan as Farlan.  
> \- Ao3 sometimes spaces out my paragraphs weirdly and if theres unintentional spacing u might notiice, please disregard
> 
> That aside, thank you so much for taking the time to read and escaping the canon events with me for awhile! I know most characters in this verse contradict their real personalities but ohh fuckinggg welll <3 Anyway, stay safe! xx


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